Seriously, eat your heart out, Harry Houdini. Another year, another great relegation escape by Wigan Athletic, the little Lancashire team that could. Easily one of the most unfashionable teams to ever experience any kind of extended stay in the Premiership, one can be forgiven for thinking that the Latics have outlived their shelf life in the top flight. After all, other than their inaugural season in the top flight, one in which they finished comfortably in mid-table and never really saw any danger, every single season has been battle to avoid relegation. Some have been more harrowing than others; a late penalty from David Unsworth against Sheffield United in the last game to secure safety, a 1-0 win away to Stoke in the last game of last season after a stoppage time winner from Charles N’Zogbia against West Ham to keep hope alive the previous week. Every other season has seen Wigan finally clinch safety right around Game 37.

Then there was this year. Roll the calendar back to March, and there are the Latics, firmly anchored to the bottom of the table, multiple wins adrift from safety. The officiating has done them no favors, ranging from the comically bad to the blatantly biased, and with 9 games to go, a veritable Murderers’ Row of Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Champions League hopefuls Newcastle remain on the docket. When you’re a minnow like Wigan, every match is an uphill battle. Those against the top 6 might as well be the Plight of Syssiphus.

The following run of games really should be the stuff of legend. Wins away to Liverpool and Arsenal, home against Man U and Newcastle (not to mention another robbery from the officials depriving them of a deserved win against Chelsea) away to Stoke (no slouches at the Brittania), and finally the clincher away to Blackburn and it’s another year in the top flight for the Latics. This wasn’t David slaying Goliath. This was David slaying four Goliaths, a schoolyard bully and then (admittedly picking on someone its own size

You can argue all day long about how they somehow manage to pull off great escape after great escape. Maybe it’s luck. Maybe God loves them. But whatever it is, the circumstances under which they do it are what make their accomplishments truly remarkable. This isn’t your Moneyball Oakland Athletics competing with bigger and richer baseball squads using algorithms and innovative analysis to determine what slightly undervalued players might perform at a high enough level for a bargain salary to make the playing field less slanted. This is a team that loses its best players to greener (both in the money sense and the other cliché) pastures after every year. The players they’ve lost over the years would make up a pretty good side. Jimmy Bullard, Leighton Baines, Jason Roberts, Henri Camara, Antonio Valencia, Wilson Palacios, Charles N’Zogbia, Emile Heskey, Paul Scharner, and the list goes on to include other lesser known but influential players like Pascal Chimbonda and Lee Cattermole. Heck, even Titus Bramble fled town for the relative comforts of Sunderland.

Every year, they’re forced to replenish the roster with a new batch of players who must somehow be good enough to keep them up again. And it’s not as if they can shrug their shoulders and just grab players who are established equals of the departed. Wigan isn’t exactly a desirable club in a desirable location! The weather sucks, the team is a preseason pick for the drop every year, and they can barely get enough fans to a home game to populate a nightclub. They have to troll the lower divisions, vulture the relegated teams, venture to far off continents in hopes of unearthing gems who can compete in the World’s best league, with the full knowledge that those who prove to be the elusive gems will merely be using Wigan as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. It’s a battle inside of a vicious cycle.

After this year, they figure to lose Victor Moses, their brightest young star. Hugo Rodallega also figures to exit stage elsewhere, despite an unimpressive campaign. Midfield dynamo James McCarthy is another who might be gone. They’ll likely have to fend off advances for Ali Al Habsi, and maybe even James McArthur, whose late season emergence as a destroyer in the defensive midfield likely drove his stock up. Once again, they’ll hang their hats on soldiers like the dependable Emerson Boyce, whose tenure with the team is surpassed only by backup goalie, Mike Pollitt. And captain Gary Caldwell, who somehow transformed himself from calamity-prone joke punchline to uncompromising titan in defense over the last two months. And Franco Di Santo, whose general inability to score goals might be overlooked due to his top drawer work rate. And Antolin Alcaraz, he of the safety-clinching goal against Blackburn. And whomever else Roberto Martinez can convince to stay on, as well as join his little, unheralded squad, perhaps using the skill-oriented attractive style he imported as bait.

That is of course, if Sir Alex Ferguson doesn’t retire and choose Martinez as his hand-picked replacement in the city of Manchester. Because that’s going to happen one day. Carve it in stone. It’s going to happen. Just hopefully not yet.

It is not all that often you will see two posts on the same topic, but I have to share my opinion of the events in last nights Nationals-Phillies game. I actually loved seeing the game handled the way it was. I am already sick of the Bryce Harper hype, despite him being a key piece of my dynasty style fantasy league. Bryce Harper is being treated like a superstar, but he is only a 19 year old kid with a handful of games under his belt, and, granted, immense talent.

It was obvious, and props to Hamels owning up to it, the ball in the middle of Harper’s back was intentional, but also the right way to hit somebody. A fastball right between the numbers on the back. No risk of long term injury, but a guarantee he will feel it and have a welt to show for it. Harper handled himself like a vet, just jogged down to first, and made Hamels pay with excellent base running. Harper went from first to third on a single, and then stole home when Hamels threw over to first. Both incredibly heads up plays, and one of the few ways to win after getting intentionally drilled.

I agreed with Orel Hershiser that following inning when the 3 hole hitter for the Phillies came up with nobody on and two out, it was a perfect time to retaliate, but Zimmerman passed. At the time, I was disappointed in Zimmerman’s decision. Then, on Hamels first trip to the plate, there it was, the retaliatory pitch. Now, Torsten is right, the pitch he hit him with was awful. There is a right and wrong way to hit a batter, and Zimmerman did it wrong. The ball should be from waist to shoulder blade height and right in the middle of the body, just as Hamels had delivered.

Henry Rodriguez putting a ball in someone’s back certainly would have been a good second option, but the situation was properly handled by all parties. Hamels made a statement that was simple and clear. “Bryce Harper, welcome to the Bigs, you are no prodigy up here, you are just another fish in a huge pond, and I am gonna let you know it.” Harper took the message, and shoved it in Hamels face with the steal of home. Zimmerman hit Hamels letting him know he was not going to stand for him hitting one of his teammates. The managers sat back and let it work itself out, and the Umpire came out with a simple, not theatrical warning, acknowledging, but not adding to the situation,

Overall, I was proud of both teams for the way last night went down. Lots of respect around from me. Hamels for having the balls to throw at a future superstar and be blunt with the media about the fact that is exactly what he was doing. But even bigger respect goes out to Harper. He could have easily complained, he could have easily let it get into his head and slacked around the bases, but he went out there and manned up. He should wear that welt with pride, and then go get a damn hair cut.

So, Cole Hamels claims he’s “old school” after admitting he intentionally hit Washington Nationals’ phenom, 19-year-old Bryce Harper. Now, the reality is, he’s a piece of crap. There’s nothing old school, honorable, admirable, or otherwise positive about what Hamels did; essentially, drilling a guy in the back with a fastball with zero provocation. Now that we’ve established this, let’s move on to the real issue at hand. What is a proper way to respond, if you’re the Nats?

They way they did respond is that Nats starter Jordan Zimmerman hit Hamels in the leg the next time Hamels came up to bat; a tacit acknowledgement that they knew what he was up to earlier. The response elicited a warning to both benches that any more of that nonsense would result in ejections. Is that really enough of a response though?

My answer is no. If you’re Zimmermann (and yes, I know that managers have a say in this matter), how can you not throw your fastest fastball right at the chin of Hamels. You don’t have earhole him (though I wouldn’t be against it in this situation) but you need to remind him of how vulnerable a hitter can be up there. Moreover, you need to show your teammates that when you’re on the hill, guys aren’t aren’t going to be throwing at them because you’ll protect them.

In the 2008 NL Championship Series, Phillies’ starter Brett Myers was throwing at Dodger hitters, including Manny Ramirez and Andre Ethier, with impunity. The chicken#$%^& umpires did nothing, and neither did Dodgers starter Chad Billingsley. Phillie pitching continued to take liberties well into the following game until Hiroki Kuroda fired a fastball above the head of Shane Victorino as if to say, enough is enough.

How’s this for a solution to today’s issue? The Nats have a guy in their bullpen named Henry Rodriguez, their stand-in closer who recently had a fastball clocked at 104 mph. How about warming up Rodriguez and bringing him in the next inning in which Hamels is due to bat, slide Zimmermann to whatever position where a player can be sacrificed for the game, and having Rodriguez drill Hamels with one of those 104mph bullets? Sure, it’s transparent, but what can anyone say? You’ve just sent a message, “nobody throws at the future of our franchise.” Sure, Bud Selig, who is a complete travesty of a commissioner, corrupt and incompetent, would definitely botch the discipline aspect. But isn’t a 25 game suspension for the manager worth the next ten years of your prized prospect batting in relative safety?

If you think that’s extreme, I’d insert myself as catcher when Hamels came up, and lock his oh-so-valuable left pitching arm in a MMA style subission hold and not necessarily let go when he tapped. But that’s just me. What about you?

We’re over a month into the baseball season and they Yankees and Red Sox are occupying the bottom two spots in the AL East.

No analysis here. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy my smugness for a moment.

Huge EPL game between Wigan and Blackburn tomorrow. I hope nobody at my day job has high hopes for my productivity for those 90 minutes.

The Guggenheim group has been in charge of the Dodgers for over a week now, and still no answer to the atrocity that is James Loney? In brighter news, if Shaun is going to pump Bartolo Colon as an early front runner for AL Cy Young, how about a little love for Chris Capuano. It’s not like he’s never been good. He did win 18 for the Brew Crew in ’06.

And I pulled a calf muscle legging out an inside the park homer on my co-ed softball team about an hour ago. I. Am. Getting. Old…

Jeff Francoeur has bounced around a bit in his 7 year career, being with his 4th team already.  But the man Kansas City likes to call Frenchy seems to have found a place he can settle in as a fan favorite.  The Royals have designated a section in the right field bleachers the “French Quarter” and every Thursday home game, a t-shirt and soda is included with the price of the ticket.  While that is a nice deal, sitting in the right field bleachers of any game Francoeur plays just might land you a deal you won’t soon forget. 

It was earlier this season, in a game in Oakland, that Francoeur arranged for 20 pizzas to be delivered to the fans sitting in the right field bleachers.  Along with the pizzas, he sent a signed bat and a personalized message to the fans.  Francoeur can regularly be seen interacting and joking around with fans in the bleachers regardless of the city.

Then, last night, while celebrating the first “French Quarter” night of the season, Francoeur tossed a ball into the section, along with a note, and a $100 bill.  What did the note say?  “Buy some beers on me”.  There is a great video on both mlb.com and on deadspin.com showing the fan that caught the buying the beers for the section, and whole section raising their beers to “Frenchy”.

Francoeur is a guy have have been enamoured with the guy since he came up with Atlanta in 2005 because watching him throw the ball is something to behold.  He has an absolute cannon of an arm, and is a joy to watch, but more importantly, he is a guy that clearly realizes he is playing a kids game for a living, and he is making sure it is as enjoyable as possible, both for him, and the fans that attend the game, regardless of rooting interest.  Bravo Jeff Francoeur!

In a sports world that all too often is filled with sports stories like the Junior Seau reported suicide, “bountygate”, the Bobby Petrino scandal, and guys like Delmon Young being accused of an aggravated hate crime, we focus too little on the great stories of human achievement and decency.  Today one of those moments happened, but only got a few seconds of time on radio and TV.

Today, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers signed undrafted rookie free agent, DT out of Rutgers Eric LeGrand.  In October 2010, late in a game against Army, LeGrand broke two vertebrae leaving him paralyzed from the neck down.  Since, he has been able to stand and even walk with assistance.  He has vowed to walk on his own, and from everything he has accomplished thus far, I am sure he will.  He is a broadcasting major at Rutgers University and has had some sports casting gigs since the injury.  Just a year after the injury, LeGrand led the Rutgers Scarlet Knights football team onto the field via his wheel chair, a tear jerking moment that found itself gracing the cover of SI twice, the second as a well-deserved Moment of the Year.  His new position with the Buccaneers will likely be as a part time sportscaster, but regardless, the Buccaneers allowed Eric LeGrand to realize his dream and make it to the NFL. 

But, this isn’t the first time a story like this has happened.  In 1981, soon after winning a National Championship with Indiana University, Landon Turner was involved in a one car crash that left him paralyzed from the waist down.  That year, the Boston Celtics gave Turner the moment he had earned; he was drafted by an NBA team.

Then there was this past MLB draft.  In a story that went much unnoticed, two teams gave kids a moment they thought was surely gone.  University of Georgia player Johnathan Taylor had collided with teammate Zach Cone in a March 6^th game, leaving Taylor paralyzed.  That June’s MLB draft, in the supplemental part of the first round, Zach Cone was drafted by the Texas Rangers, then, in the 33^rd round, the Rangers looked at the board, and did the honorable thing, drafted Cone’s Georgia teammate, Johnathan Taylor. 

In the 40^th round of the same draft, the Houston Astros drafted local community college standout Buddy Lamothe.  Lamothe, a promising reliever with an ERA under 1.00, was another kid that had lost any hope of being drafted, much less walking, as he was left paralyzed after a recreational accident that landed him in a wheelchair.

I am sure there are other examples of this, but these were the four that came to mind.  Regardless, I would love to turn on Sports Center and see a 15 minute segment on one of these stories rather than hear about another DUI, domestic disturbance, or athlete complaining that his $10 million a year contract isn’t enough.  Instead, share a story of a team that has given a young athlete a moment that surely brought a smile to their face that is simply priceless.

On the day that legendary linebacker Junior Seau was found dead in his home of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound, the NFL has also announced that four players from the Saints “Bountygate” team will face bans, the lengthiest of which goes to linebacker Jonathan Vilma. These two significant news items, one tragic, the other both satisfying and sickening, will be inextricably linked.

Should there be an autopsy on Seau, there is little doubt in my mind it will reveal signs of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), the name they’ve assigned the degenerative brain disease believed to result from repeated concussions. I’m so certain of this, I’d wager just about anything on it.

Back to Bountygate, someone ought to ask Gregg Williams now, right after the tragic apparent suicide of a league legend, what exactly he meant by telling his players that they had to “kill Frank Gore’s head.” Did he mean that they should try to concuss him so badly that he would cognitively degenerate while still a young man, until he finally reached the point of such despair that no other option but suicide remained in his mind?

The other players on the Saints who were suspended besides Vilma are Anthony Hargrove (now on the Packers), Scott Fujita (now with Cleveland) and Will Smith. All three were reportedly heavily involved. But they weren’t the architects. Sure, participation is bad enough. But they had issues like peer pressure and the like to deal with. Nobody was pressuring Williams.

It may seem silly to outline peer pressure as an issue faced by grown men, professional athletes at that. But how silly is it really? In many cases, these are people who their entire lives have had people cater to their whims. They have people who attend classes for them, do their homework, coach them on what to say in every conceivable conversation, etc., so 100% of their focus can be on football, whatever level they happen to be at. Special athletes are noticed early in most cases. There aren’t many late bloomers.

These are prime candidates to suffer from seriously impaired social development. Look at Tiger Woods. when you’re in an evironment as a child, adolescent, teen, and young adult where you’re shielded through so much, you never learn the true meaning of consequence. All actions have consequences. You don’t learn real social skills. You don’t know how to talk your way out of a bad situation. You don’t say no. You don’t know how.

Gregg Williams, he doesn’t have that excuse. He’s a coach, not some younger, impressionable super athlete who is being groomed for stardom. He knew what he was doing. Do I think he wanted Frank Gore dead? Of course not. But death from injury in football, even if it occurs ten or fifteen years down the road, is still a very real possibility. 250lb men are running 4.5 second 40 yard dashes. At each other.

To our regular readers, I apologize for belaboring the Williams situation. But I’m not going to stop until Roger Goodell does the right thing, and offially makes Williams’ indefinite suspension an unequivocal lifetime ban. If Bart Giamatti can ban Pete Rose for life from baseball for betting ON HIS OWN TEAM TO WIN, then Goodell can ban Williams for bribing his players to intentionally endanger the life of another man.

You know I’m right. And it sucks that people have to die to drive home the point. Seau had a family. Frank Gore still has a family. They’re the ones who will suffer. To paraphrase a Diamond Rio song, God only cries for the living, not the passed. It’s the living that are left to carry on.

Seau’s death isn’t the first of its kind, and sadly it very likely will not be the last. But it’s the most high profile to this point, and if anything good can possibly come of it, this is it.

See, mom? We do play well with others! It appears an enterprising Falcons fan happened to stumble across our humble little blog here and start a thread on the Falcons message board. Most of the commentary is good natured so we’re having a good time with it. Special thanks to the gentleman who complimented our writing. As to the name attracting more 12 year olds than adults, you’re probably right as well. That said, it only makes sense to write to our own maturity levels.

We do want to clear up one potential misconception. We don’t dislike Matt Ryan. Quite the opposite. In fact, we love him. Not only does he have a rifle for an arm, he can poop himself mid game and not miss a step. As one of the Falcons message board readers astutely pointed out, they thrashed my hapless Rams that game behind a big performance from our blog’s namesake. Ryan is a winner in our book.

The Anatomy of Men

Not THAT anatomy you sick puppies… It bears mentioning that in last night’s LA Kings St. Louis Blues playoff game, Dwight King and BJ Crombeen settled things as they should be settled. Not with cheap shots or slashes, but with fists in a fair fight. In Game 1, King put Blues stud defenseman Alex Pietrangelo in the boards with a hit from behind. It wasn’t necessarily dirty, but it caused an injury forcing Pietrangelo to miss game 2. Well, you don’t take out the stud players without retribution, but kudos to Crombeen. He didn’t go after Kopitar or Doughty. He went to King and challenged him to a fair fight. King, knowing he owed the Blues to at least answer to his transgression, obliged. I don’t know, I just thought it bore mentioning during a playoffs tarnished by the actions of guys like Raffi Torres, Bryan Boyle, Matt Carkner, Shea Weber, Byron Bitz, and others.

Hey, did something happen in the Clippers game?

What kind of a heartless jackass taunts a seriously injured player? Apparently, a shoe designer. Nike needs to grow a pair and fire the guy.

Just like Gregg Williams needs a lifetime ban. I’ve now read his quote about 100 times about, “doing everything possible to kill Frank Gore’s head.” It gets worse every time. And seriously, why do they keep calling this guy a good defensive coordinator? Wasn’t it his defense that gave up 38 points to the 49rs, not exactly an offensive juggernaut in the playoffs? I thought so.

I’ve been searching the NFL draft recaps long and hard to try to find a team that drafted worse than my Rams again. (explanation on that in a moment). I finally found it. Jacksonville, Brian Anger, really? Why would you use a third round pick on a punter, the player who ideally your team uses as infrequently as possible? It makes zero sense.

Back to the F+ grade I’m giving the Rams. Yes, they got some good players. Brockers figures to be good, as does Janoris Jenkins. Speaking of, if you were a NFL team thinking about drafting Jenkins, wouldn’t you make it contingent upon him having a vasectomy? Come to think of it, if you’re a male pro athlete, why WOULDN’T you get one!? I digress, the Rams watched their golden investment, Sam Bradford take unspeakable beatings all season long before he mercifully shut it down the last 6 games of last season. How was offensive line not the primary need at the draft? Not taking David DeCastro with their first rounder as he sat there waiting for them is the single most ridiculous decision they could have made. Not only did they fail to do the obvious, they compounded that mistake by not addressing the line with any of their three second round picks, or their third. Finally, in the fourth round, they take a kid who projects as… well, a project. I had hoped that incompetence was merely a trait of the Rams’ previous regimes, but alas, it must actually be the team. When respected minds like Jeff Fisher and Les Snead can’t get the obvious right, what the heck else could it be?

As a Rams fan, I love Bradford, and it’s going to pain me greatly when he suffers a season ending and possibly career threatening injury in the first third of the 2012 NFL season. You heard it here first.

Was originally gonna be the jerk that called Mohamed Sanu informing him he was being drafted in the first round by the Bengals.  But instead, it will go to a fan at the Dodger game.  It came in the third at bat for Bryce Harper, the stadium is in the middle of the wave, and a fan stands up, turns around, and drops trow.  Ass in all its glory right behind the plate, just as Harper swings and connects with a double over Matt Kemp’s head.  Replays are delayed as the truck scrambles to find a replay that doesn’t show ass.  Before they even manage to get a replay, I have taken a picture and blasted it onto twitter, as seen here.  I got many great responses, then 15 minutes later Deadspin posts the video and you know it will be topic of conversation on sports radio come Monday.  So, I will also give the future douche of the week to all those media folks who take credit for seeing it, when we all know the place to turn for random stories of unfortunate ass shots is right here, at The Stain.