Author: Shaun P Kernahan

Shaun’s Top 100 Baseball Prospects

While the vast majority of my prospect writing can be found at Grading on the Curve, I decided I should publish my own personal top 100, and figured The Stain is a good spot to do that. So, here it is, my top 100 prospects in all of baseball.

1) Byron Buxton – OF – Minnesota Twins

2) Xander Bogaerts – SS – Boston Red Sox

3) Miguel Sano – 3B – Minnesota Twins

4) Taijuan Walker – RHP – Seattle Mariners

5) Oscar Tavares – OF – St. Louis Cardinals

6) Javier Baez – SS – Chicago Cubs

7) Francisco Lindor – SS – Cleveland Indians

8) Archie Bradley – RHP – Arizona Diamondbacks

9) Kris Bryant – 3B – Chicago Cubs

10) Austin Hedges – C – San Diego Padres

11) Gregory Polanco – OF – Pittsburgh Pirates

12) Addison Russell – SS – Oakland A’s

13) Jonathan Gray – RHP – Colorado Rockies

14) Carlos Correa – SS – Houston Astros

15) Mark Appel – RHP – Houston Astros

16) Robert Stephenson – RHP – Cincinnati Reds

17) Albert Almora – OF – Chicago Cubs

18) Noah Syndergaard – RHP – New York Mets

19) Lucas Giolito – RHP – Washington Nationals

20) Jameson Taillon – RHP – Pittsburgh Pirates

21) Dylan Bundy – RHP – Baltimore Orioles
22) Yordano Ventura – RHP – Kansas City Royals
23) Eddie Butler – RHP – Colorado Rockies
24) George Springer – OF – Houston Astros
25) Raul Aldaberto Mondesi – SS – Kansas City Royals
26) Joc Pederson – OF – Los Angeles Dodgers
27) Kevin Gausman – RHP – Baltimore Orioles
28) Nick Castellanos – 3B – Detroit Tigers
29) Alex Meyer – RHP – Minnesota Twins
30) Julio Urias – LHP – Los Angeles Dodgers

31) Kyle Zimmer – RHP – Kansas City Royals
32) Max Fried – LHP – San Diego Padres
33) Aaron Sanchez – RHP – Toronto Blue Jays
34) Kyle Crick – RHP – San Francisco Giants
35) Jorge Soler – OF – Chicago Cubs
36) Henry Owens – LHP – Boston Red Sox
37) Jackie Bradley Jr. – Boston Red Sox
38) Andrew Heaney – LHP – Miami Marlins
39) Billy Hamilton – OF – Cincinnati Reds
40) Clint Frazier – OF – Cleveland Indians

41) Jorge Alfaro – C – Texas Rangers
42) Tyler Glasnow – RHP – Pittsburgh Pirates
43) Marcus Stroman – RHP – Toronto Blue Jays
44) Travis D’Arnaud – C – New York Mets
45) Corey Seager – SS – Los Angeles Dodgers
46) Kolten Wong – 2B – St. Louis Cardinals
47) Rougned Odor – 2B – Texas Rangers
48) Colin Moran – 3B – Miami Marlins
49) Austin Meadows – OF – Pittsburgh Pirates
50) Blake Swihart – C – Boston Red Sox

51) Lucas Sims – RHP – Atlanta Braves
52) Kohl Stewart – RHP – Minnesota Twins
53) Garin Cecchini – 3B – Boston Red Sox
54) CJ Edwards – RHP – Chicago Cubs
55) Matt Wisler – RHP – San Diego Padres
56) Mike Foltynewicz – RHP – Houston Astros
57) Erik Johnson – RHP – Chicago White Sox
58) Jonathan Singleton – 1B – Houston Astros
59) Maikel Franco – 3B – Philadelphia Phillies
60) Rosell Herrera – SS – Colorado Rockies

61) Matt Barnes – RHP – Boston Red Sox
62) Chris Owings – SS – Arizona Diamondbacks
63) Allan Webster – RHP – Boston Red Sox
64) David Dahl – OF – Colorado Rockies
65) Sean Manea – LHP – Kansas City Royals
66) Trey Ball – LHP – Boston Red Sox
67) Zach Lee – RHP – Los Angeles Dodgers
68) Eddie Rosario – 2B – Minnesota Twins
69) Hunter Harvey – RHP – Baltimore Orioles
70) Braden Shipley – RHP – Arizona Diamondbacks

71) JP Crawford – SS – Philadelphia Phillies
72) Arismendy Alcantara – 2B – Chicago Cubs
73) Allen Hanson – SS – Pittsburgh Pirates
74) AJ Cole – RHP – Washington Nationals
75) Reese McGuire – C – Pittsburgh Pirates
76) Christian Bethancourt – C – Atlanta Braves
77) Mookie Betts – 2B – Boston Red Sox
78) Jorge Bonifacio – OF – Kansas City Royals
79) Jake Odorizzi – RHP – Tampa Bay Rays
80) Jonathan Schoop – 2B – Baltimore Orioles

81) Gary Sanchez – C – New York Yankees
82) Stephen Piscotty – OF – St. Louis Cardinals
83) James Paxton – LHP – Seattle Mariners
84) Joey Gallo – 3B – Texas Rangers
85) Miguel Almonte – RHP – Kansas City Royals
86) Brian Goodwin – OF – Washington Nationals
87) Hunter Dozier – 3B – Kansas City Royals
88) Luis Sardinas – SS – Texas Rangers
89) Ross Stripling – RHP – Los Angeles Dodgers
90) Matt Davidson – 3B – Chicago White Sox

91) Manuel Margot – OF – Boston Red Sox
92) Josmil Pinto – C – Minnesota Twins
93) Trevor Bauer – RHP – Cleveland Indians
94) Casey Kelly – RHP – San Diego Padres
95) Phillip Ervin – OF – Cincinnati Reds
96) Hak-Ju Lee – SS – Tampa Bay Rays
97) Jesse Biddle – LHP – Philadelphia Phillies
98) Chi Chi Rodriguez – RHP – Texas Rangers
99) C.J. Cron – 1B – Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
100) Raimel Tapia – OF – San Diego Padres

Baseball Over/Unders

Team	Wins	Torsten	Shaun
Arizona Diamondbacks	80.5	Over	Over
Atlanta Braves	87.5	Over	Over
Baltimore Orioles	80.5	Under	Over
Boston Red Sox	87.5	Over	Over
Chicago Cubs	69.5	Under	Under
Chicago White Sox	75.5	Under	Over
Cincinnati Reds	84.5	Over	Over
Cleveland Indians	80.5	Over	Over
Colorado Rockies	76.5	Under	Under
Detroit Tigers	89.5	Over	Under
Houston Astros	62.5	Over	Over
Kansas City Royals	81.5	Over	Over
Los Angeles Angels	86.5	Over	Under
Los Angeles Dodgers	92.5	Over	Over
Miami Marlins	69.5	Under	Under
Milwaukee Brewers	79.5	Under	Over
Minnesota Twins	70.5	Over	Under
New York Mets	73.5	Under	Under
New York Yankees	86.5	Over	Under
Oakland Athletics	88.5	Under	Over
Philadelphia Phillies	76.5	Under	Under
Pittsburgh Pirates	83.5	Over	Over
San Diego Padres	78.5	Under	Over
San Francisco Giants	86.5	Under	Under
Seattle Mariners	81.5	Under	Over
St. Louis Cardinals	90.5	Over	Over
Tampa Bay Rays	88.5	Over	Over
Texas Rangers	86.5	Over	Over
Toronto Blue Jays	79.5	Under	Under
Washington Nationals	88.5	Over	Over

Locks: Baseball is going to be a tough one to call this year. Lots of teams are on the verge of making a jump. A few are on the precipice of a significant drop. But most of these lines look pretty spot on, as us being in agreement on 20 of the 30 teams would indicate. That said, if you’re the betting sort, here’s our lock for the over as well as the under.

Torsten:

Over: Atlanta Braves. Really? 87.5 wins? This team won 96 games last year with practically zero production from Dan Uggla and BJ Upton, and no Brandon Beachy or Johnny Venters for practically the entire year. They have pitching, one of the best young players in baseball in Freddie Freeman, and if any of the aforementioned guys has a better 2014 than 2013 (not a stretch), who is to say this team can’t win 95+ games again? For Pete’s sake, they get to play the Mets, Marlins, and Phillies 19 times each.

Under: San Diego Padres: There’s a bit of talent on this squad, but they’re the fourth best team in a five team division. No way they flirt with .500. Even if Chase Headley manages to stay healthy, and they get a bounce back year from Josh Johnson, there just isn’t enough of anything on this roster. The bullpen especially has question marks the size of Mount Rushmore. They’ll be lucky to get to 70 wins, much less the 78.5 the line is set at. I could have made a similar argument here for the Rockies, but with two superstars in the lineup (Tulo & Cargo) and a better-than-you-think bullpen (Rex Brothers is a stud), you never know.

Shaun:

Over: Kansas City Royals: I really believe the Royals have a shot at the playoffs this year. I like the top of the rotation with Jaime Shields, they have a stud pitcher that should earn himself a spot in the rotation after getting a taste of the big leagues last season in Yordano Ventura, and Greg Holland is an excellent closer. They also play fantastic defense, and have finally filled the black hole that has been second base in Kansas City with the addition of Omar Infante. I see the Royals flirting with 90 wins, not just teetering around .500.

Under: Philadelphia Phillies: The Phillies are old, signing older players, and they guys who used to be young and talented are just aging and declining. They do have a couple young guys that are impressive, but that likely won’t be enough. It is hard to say it is a lock for a team to win less than 77 games, especially a team with such a proud history as the Phillies, but I just don’t see it. Their starters aren’t that good anymore, and with all the money locked up in the aging veterans, they lack depth. I honestly see them as one of the five worst teams in baseball.

Top 5 Reasons Sports Lists are Dumb

Thank you for getting it. All kidding aside, who doesn’t like a list, right? After all, it gives us something nebulous to debate over way too much beer at the local dive bar. But can we stop pretending that these lists actually mean anything? Look, I’ve got all the respect in the world for Mel Kiper and the ridiculous amount of work he must put into his NFL draft prospect breakdowns. But ultimately, it’s all still a bunch of crap.

Lists, ultimately, end up being opinion. Nothing more and nothing less. There’s nothing wrong with having opinions, and even publishing them. Goodness knows, it’s what we do. But the world would be a better place if it could be done in a way that doesn’t attempt to assign a number value to something. Without further ado, here are top five reasons sports lists are dumb.

5) They deal in things that are not quantifiable.

They can’t. Those already all exist in essentially indisputable form. If you want to know who the top power hitters of all time are in MLB, just look at the list of career home runs. And if you were going to make a list of the top power hitters of all time, and wanted to include someone who isn’t near the top of the statistical category, you’d better have a compelling reason. And you don’t. So drop it.

4) They obsolete themselves.

Some do it quickly, like every week. Take a look at any NFL power rankings list before week 1 last season, and then again before week 17. Now, how many of these lists do you think had the Atlanta Falcons somewhere between 25 and 30 in week 1? Exactly. Sure, it’s fun to see where your team ranks, unless you’re a Rams fan like yours truly, but it’s ultimately meaningless.

3) They’re pure conjecture.

There’s no doubt that a lot of research goes into compiling an NFL mock draft. But how many picks do even the most respected experts nail in their mocks? Eight? Five? Now, how many do they nail outside of the top three (which are often consensus picks)? Exactly.

2) They bring out the idiots.

Take me, for example. I read some dumb list about the best defensive catchers in MLB and am immediately infuriated by the omission of AJ Ellis. So I take my vitriol to the comments section and unload. And then nobody responds. And I lose self respect. So I fix myself a drink. And then I remember that it’s nearly 7 am and time to go to work. Then I have to rush through my drink, which martinis were not designed for, making it less enjoyable. Nobody wins.

1) They promote lack of accountability.

Few things are more important to the delicately woven fabric of today’s society than fantasy football. I concede, “few” is a relative and subjective term. That said, few people know fantasy football better than Matthew Berry, but not even he gets them all right. So if you read his weekly list of players to sit and start, like I do every week, and one of his bits of advice went poorly for you, it’s his fault. Not yours, of course, because making your own choices based on your own research is not an option. His.

Stay tuned for an upcoming feature on the top 5 reasons sports lists are integral reading for every sports fan.

Homer Corner: Make Michael Sam a Ram

I think it says something positive about society that one day after SEC Co-Defensive Player of the Year, Michael Sam comes out as gay, the media has already moved on to way more important things…such as still debating and theorizing on why Shaun White opted not to compete in slopestyle. Now they can talk about not winning the Gold he was expected to, though regardless of what anyone says, a fourth place finish in the Olympics is hardly terrible.

That’s right, a nearly week old story about an Olympic athlete making a thought-out decision to not compete in a particular event is still commanding more headlines over the NFL soon having its first active openly gay player.

Barring a terrible combine or suddenly going all Aaron Hernandez on an acquaintance, Sam will be drafted. He’s an excellent player as evidenced by his accomplishments this year. Some draft analysts have him going as high as the second round. Most have him in the third. All of them have him going somewhere.

So where is that somewhere going to be? Let me be the first to say, let’s bring him to the Rams. Why? It’s the perfect environment for him. Look, one peek at Sam’s childhood/upbringing will lead you to the quick conclusion that coming out was hardly the toughest thing he’s dealt with. The kid has had three siblings die, and two more are incarcerated. He has a thick skin and will be able to deal with adversity.

Still, you know there are going to be times when some player or fan in a spectacular moment of ignorance and bigotry will drop a slur or worse yet, wax poetic on some obtuse philosophy about football being no place for a man like Sam. Thick skin or not, when adversity rears its head, it’s nice to be where you are comfortable, feel supported and can bank on the right people having your back.

So why the Rams? After all, if this were an episode of Family Feud, and Steve Harvey said, “Top five answers on the board, name a state associated with social tolerance,” think Missouri would crack the list? However, that’s where Sam went to college. And he came out to his team before the season started, and they all had his back. Nobody sold him out on Twitter. Nobody leaked a story anonymously to the press. They knew for months. We found out yesterday. Pretty freaking cool, huh?

Second, there’s coach Jeff Fisher. I’ve long thought that his reputation as a coach is inflated. I still think he lacks the ability to make the in game adjustments to steal the extra win or three over the course of a season that the top coaches always seem to somehow manage. And I’m still convinced his eye for talent has cataracts. After all, this is the guy who thought Jim Walton, who presided over a breath-takingly bad secondary in Detroit, had the chops to handle a defensive coordinator position. But as a human being, Fisher seems the type to have his priorities firmly in line, and any intolerance will, for lack of a better way to put it, simply not be tolerated.

Third, that defense is already populated with classy leaders; Chris Long, William Hayes, James Laurinaitas. Michael Brockers and Robert Quinn are growing into those roles too. (It’s worth mentioning Cortland Finnegan too. His atrocious play might spell release, rendering him a non-point, but nobody has ever questioned him as a leader to young teammates.) If these guys can provide an environment where young players deemed prone to getting in trouble, such as Alec Ogletree and Janoris Jenkins, can stay for the most part in line, providing a positive work environment for a teammate whose “difference” from everyone else is something as insignificant as sexual orientation should be a breeze.

Ultimately, Sam’s success or failure as a professional football player will probably have nothing to do with his orientation, and everything to do with whether he can physically and mentally compete at the next level, just like it does for everyone else trying to make the jump from college to the pros. Personally, I’d like to see him succeed and I think St. Louis is great place for him to start that journey.

Best, Worst, and Under-the-Radar Signings in Baseball

Few things are more entertaining for us at The Stain than the free agency period for Major League Baseball. Weird things happen (see Cano, Robinson; Seattle), predictable things happen (see Tanaka, Masahiro; Yankees), and head-scratching things happen (see Arroyo, Bronson; Unemployed as of 1/31). Teams make good decisions, bad decisions, shrewd maneuvers, or in some cases nothing at all. Here’s look at a few noteworthy transactions so far this off-season.

Torsten’s take:

Great Signing: Angels, Raul Ibanez, DH, 1 yr. 2.75 million. Sure, he’s older than dirt and limited to DH duty at this stage of his career, and doesn’t really handle lefties all that well. But, for less than the league average salary, the Halos are going to get around 25 home runs in 350-400 plate appearances. There is no other player that returns that kind of value.

Awful Signing: Red Sox, A.J. Pierzynski, C, 1 yr. 8.25 million. Two disclaimers here. No, I’m not taking a dig at Shaun. And second, I don’t think Pierzynski is a bad player. But, at this stage of his career, he’s weak defensively, and they’re overpaying for offensive production that shouldn’t have been a priority from that position. I’m not going to argue to vehemently with Ben Cherington. The GM of the World Series champions should probably not be the target of too much criticism, but I would have re-signed Salty, or gone after Geovany Soto or Kelly Shoppach before I overpaid for AJ. Silver lining, at least it’s only a one year deal. Honorable mention is the ridiculous contract the Giants gave Tim Lincecum, though the loyalty they’re displaying to one of their iconic players is admirable.

Under the Radar: Yankees, Kelly Johnson, IF/OF, 1 yr. 3 million. Yeah, I died a little inside giving the Yankees credit. But lost in the bustle of the high profile Jacoby Ellsbury, Carlos Beltran, and Brian McCann signings is the fact that they might have taken a massive step to solving one of their two glaring infield issues; A-Rod’s suspension takes away their third baseman, and Seattle took away their second baseman. Johnson could turn out to be terrible and released by June… but he’s a versatile defender (even competent in the outfield if needed), can slug a little bit, and could turn out to be a titanic bargain for a team that spent a ton of cash to return to AL East relevance. Honorable mention is J.P. Howell. Sure, this may be a bit of a homer moment, but as a Dodger fan I got to see exactly how excellent he really is. And the simple fact they got him for less than the average closer makes means that he is a huge bargain.

Shaun’s take:

Quick reaction to Torsten, and no surprise it is about Pierzynski. True, the dollar figure is high, but it actually makes sense. The Red Sox are still about a good amount of money below the luxury tax threshold, and with the probability of either Ryan Dempster or Jake Peavy being traded before the season starts, the money is of little concern. Salty was not resigned because the Red Sox have two high floor catchers in the high minors in Christian Vazquez and Blake Swihart. Both are plus defensive backstops, and I just recently rated Swihart as my fourth best Red Sox prospect.

Great Signing: Rangers, Shin-Soo Choo, OF, 7 years, $130 million. If this was the best move of the offseason, it would be an easy vote for the Nationals trading for Doug Fister, and creating what is possibly the best rotation in baseball, but we are talking signings, so I will go with Choo. Choo is a guy I love to watch play the game of baseball, and his story is incredible as well. Choo led his native South Korea to an Asian Games gold medal in baseball, deeming him exempt from his home countries law requiring him to serve two years in the South Korean Army. He is an incredible on-base guy, and proved he can play center field. In 2011, Choo was hit in the thumb by Jonathan Sanchez, landing him on the DL for two months, and resulting in his worst statistical season of his career. The very next season, Choo was once again drilled by Jonathan Sanchez, which is not a huge surprise, given that Sanchez drills a guy every 18 innings or so. Ever since, Choo has struggled against left-handed pitchers, but he is great against right-handers, and still manages a solid OBP against lefties.

Awful Signing: Everyone Signed by the Phillies. The aging Phillies have pulled off the impossible, and got older this year. They resigned Carlos Ruiz at catcher for three years, worth $26 million, despite only being able to play 92 games in 2013. Then they went out and signed Roberto Hernandez, who you may not recognize, mostly because he hasn’t done anything positive since his name was Fausto Carmona, causing him to miss one full season due to suspension and a lack of visa, and it was found he is three years older than originally thought. He is going to receive $4.5 million this year from the Phillies. They have also gone out and signed 36 year old Marlon Byrd, to a two-year deal. As if that wasn’t enough, they signed a guy who was crushing the ball in the Venezuelan Winter League, but will be turning 40 during Spring Training, Bobby Abreu. Granted, I was calling for Abreu to get a contract this winter, but I was thinking he should be signed by an American League team, where he can DH against right-handers, not an old Phillies team where he will have to play the field.

Under–the-Radar: Reds, Roger Bernadina, OF, Minor League deal. The Reds plans are to enter the season with Billy Hamilton leading off and playing center. Now, I have been impressed with his ability to play the field despite having just over one season of experience in the outfield after spending the majority of his life as a shortstop, but his bat scares me. I am not convinced he will be able to get on base often, much less his for a decent average. I am not saying Bernadina will move many dials offensively, but it is great insurance. He has flashed double digit home run power, he can steal a bag, and he can play impressive defense. I would not be at all surprised if Bernadina breaks camp with the Reds, and I can just about guarantee he will make a real impact at times this season.

All-January 31st Birthday Team

Today, January 31st, is the birthday of three all-time greats and Hall of Famers; Jackie Robinson, Ernie Banks, and Nolan Ryan. Now, that would be the start of a pretty epic team, so I decided to jump to the Baseball Reference birthday page and see what kind of lineup I could create from guys born on today’s date. I will admit, I have no clue who a lot of these guys are, but I am not gonna let that stop me. So, my lineup for players born on January 31st is:

1) Jackie Robinson – 2B – It is pretty easy to put Jackie at the top of my lineup. He is the Hall of Fame second baseman who broke the color barrier, and was as good an athlete baseball has ever seen. He played just ten seasons, but hit .311, hit 137 home runs, and stole 197 bags, include home 19 times.

2) George Burns– 1B – No, not the comedian, and not the Simpsons character, but instead the first baseman who played for Indians, Tigers, Athletics, Red Sox, and Yankees from 1914-1929. He had a batting average better than .300 and and OBP over .350. He once stole 23 bags in a season, and even had a season with over 200 hits.

3) Ernie Banks– SS – Banks is in the Hall of Fame thanks to hitting more than 500 home runs and driving in more than 1,600 runs. Mr. Cub actually spent more of his career playing primarily first base (10 seasons) than short (9 seasons) but I can’t pass up the opportunity to create the double play combo of Banks and Robinson.

4) Yuniesky Betancourt– 3B – Ok, clearly there is a lack of power when it comes to January 31st birthdays, in fact the only two players with more than 100 career home runs are the two Hall of Fame position players, and Betancourt has the third most, with 80 career dingers. Now, I will have to look past his seven straight seasons with a negative WAR and have him hit cleanup. Who knows, maybe he can revive his career this year in the Japanese Nippon Baseball League.

5) Pinky Hargrave– C – Pinky has a solid name, as does his brother and fellow big leaguer, Bubbles. Pinky played for four teams between 1923-1933. His career triple slash line is .278/.339/.428. He did not make his big league debut until the age of 27, but you gotta like the fact he was just 5’8″ because he was sure to provide a low target for the pitcher.

6) Tim Hendryx– LF – Hendryx was a former New York Yankee when he joined the Boston Red Sox in 1920, the first season following the Babe Ruth trade. Hendryx led the Red Sox in average and RBIs that season, but he wasn’t exactly a power hitter, launching the same number of home runs that year as I did…and I wasn’t born for another 65 years. That same year Ruth hit just 54 home runs, drove in 137, walked 150 times, and had a triple slash line of .376/.532/.847. Regardless, I will stand by the Red Sox and take Hendryx on my squad too.

7) Tex McDonald– RF – Any chance to add a guy named Tex to a lineup, you gotta jump on it. His big league career was brief, lasting from 1912-1915, where, in addition to the Reds and Braves, he played for teams named the Blues, Buffeds, and Rebels, which apparently were actual Major League teams. He had 13 home runs and 134 RBIs, which would be a nice season, but those were his career numbers, Still, his name is Tex, so he makes my lineup.

8) Mel Mazzera– DH – While Mazzera played long before the DH was even a consideration, his final season was in 1940 while the DH was not instituted until the 1973 season, his Baseball Reference page does have one of his positions as a pinch hitter, so that will suffice. He had just 507 career at-bats, where he hit just 10 home runs and drove in less than 70. His average was .268, but slugged over .400, so that is good enough for this lineup.

9) Melky Mesa– CF – True, Mesa has only played eight career games over two seasons, but he is 6/15 lifetime for a batting average of .400. He has yet to hit a home run in his career, but he is entering his age 27 season in 2014, a season in which fantasy players have long argued is a position player’s prime season. I will also admit it, he was one of just a handful of names I actually recognized from the list, so I had to include him.

Nolan Ryan– SP – Yes, my starting pitcher was an easy selection given it is the career strikeout king, and a man who has thrown seven no hitters (which might come in handy with the lineup I put together). He is a Hall of Famer, and grade A badass. While he will probably go all nine innings, I would have Josh Johnson at the ready.

You can follow Shaun Kernahan on twitter @shaunkernahan, add him to your network on Google, and like Shaun on Facebook.

Most Annoying Super Bowl Storylines

Every year around this time, the media does a phenomenal job out beating dead horses and desperately trying to make stories out of things that are non-issues. It’s unspeakably annoying. It’s as if they think a game the magnitude of the Super Bowl needs additional hype or something. Here’s a few that make us want to stab ourselves in the eardrums.

Torsten’s top three:

Number One Scoring Offense vs. Number One Scoring Defense: Ok, we get it. Denver has an explosive offense, Seattle has a sturdy defense. Here’s why it’s crap. Yeah, Denver scored the most points and Seattle allowed the fewest to be scored upon them. Does it make them the best? Maybe, maybe not. Sure, Denver’s offense is great, but their point total is somewhat inflated by the fact that they continued to bomb the ball down the field in garbage time of games that were already blowouts and their opponents had essentially thrown in the towel (See 12/22 vs. Houston). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping the pedal to the medal, per se, but it’s not a matter of debate that this type of philosophy will impact point totals. Additionally, Seattle’s defensive prowess is somewhat inflated because of how brutal the atmosphere is for visiting teams. At home, they’re liable to hang a goose egg on any offense. On the road, where offensive linemen can get off with the snap as opposed to a split second late, they can be run on a little bit, and that makes a difference. But anyway, this is the Super Bowl! Obviously, any team that gets here is going to be pretty good on both sides of the ball. They have to be. That’s why they’re the last two remaining.

Richard Sherman: It’s truly ridiculous. He goes on a WWE villain-type rant in his post-game interview after making the game-deciding defensive play, insulting Michael Crabtree, and everyone is quick to call him names, including “thug.” All of a sudden, people jump on the other bandwagon. Oh, Sherman overcame incredible odds to avoid gangs in Compton, demonstrate academic excellence in high school and again in college at Stanford, and look at the genuine distress he was in over NaVorro Bowman’s gruesome knee injury! Come on… having empathy when a colleague, even an opponent, suffers a terrible injury doesn’t make you special. It makes you not a sociopath. And his assertion that being called a thug is just a notch below being called the N-word, well that’s just lunacy. For those of you that care, the word thug originates from circa-13th century India about a nefarious group of scoundrels that gave people a bad time. It was and is commonly used to describe mafia and other organized crime henchmen whose sole purpose was to physically intimidate or harm people who didn’t “play ball.” And yes, it is used in connotation with black gang members as well, but if it’s equivalent to one of the more despicable slurs out there, why did Tupac Shakur start a hip hop group called Thug Life, alluding to thug life being more about overcoming adversity and achieving success? Anyway, what it boils down to is this. I’m not a shrink, but it appears Richard Sherman is an excellent football player, academic and intelligent, a little narcissistic, and perhaps a little underdeveloped socially. But ultimately, who gives a sh*t? He’s just one player, albeit a good one, who is gonna be on the field February 2nd.

The Weed: Granted, this is more of a joke than it is a storyline; the two states who legalized recreational marijuana use are represented in football’s biggest game. But believe you me, there are those people out there (who no doubt have done their fair share of recreational using) who truly believe that it’s some kind of cosmic justice or karma. Really? On the plus side, the topic has come up of medicinal pot use in the NFL, specifically pertaining to the treatment of concussions. Which, if it’s viable, needs to absolutely be implemented. Meanwhile, the joke is old. Let it go already. It’s not like stoners are suffering from a shortage of things that they find funny.

Shaun’s top three:

Before I jump into the three storylines I am sick of hearing, I want to add to one of Torsten’s. Usually Torsten is the one that loves to throw about conspiracy theories within sports, just ask him about Sepp Blatter or the NFL referees, but he completely missed one. We are probably all sick of the Peyton Manning and Papa commercials for Papa John’s, but is it really any surprise that main sponsor of the Super Bowl is a pizza company when the two teams that make it to the game come from states that have legalized marijuana? I think not. With that said, here are the three storylines I am sick of:

Peyton Manning’s Legacy: Really?!?! So, if Manning doesn’t win another championship, does that mean he hasn’t been a great quarterback? As a Patriots fan, I inherently cannot stand Peyton Manning, but there is no debating he is one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time. Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl, but guess what, he was great. One more championship won’t be enough to catapult Manning over Joe Montana in the eyes of anyone that feels Montana is the greatest ever. Trent Dilfer has won a Super Bowl. The NFL’s leader in interceptions thrown last season, Eli Manning, has two rings. Peyton’s legacy is set as one of the greatest ever, regardless of the outcome of Sunday’s game.

Weather: When it was first announced the Meadowlands would be hosing the Super Bowl, I was really hoping it would be about -20 degrees with 60 mph winds because I feel it is a terrible idea, but now that every sports outlet has a full time meteorologist on staff to let us know what the updated projected high and low for Sunday are every half hour, I no longer care. The two teams in the game come from dynamic home climates. One, the Broncos, play their home games at high altitude and cold weather. Meanwhile, the Seahawks play in the wettest city in America. Rarely does anyone look at the weather before the first cut to the stadium during a pregame show, so why should we this week?

Media: No, seriously, I am sick of everything on TV and radio in terms of the game outside of outlets that actually look at matchups and breakdown the game. My phone sent me alerts yesterday (Monday) when each team landed at Newark Airport. What?!?! Teams flew to Jersey for the game, the plane arrived, and that is news? Thank you ESPN, you make me a dumber sports fan one update at a time. Then there is media day. A whole event dedicated to the media interviewing players…which they do every day anyway, only media day is held on the field. Oh, wait, no it isn’t, this year the game is in an outdoor stadium with snow on the ground, so they are hosting media day indoors, you know, kinda like every other interview ever.

A Little Bieber Fun For Ya

Sure, it’s easy to pile onto Justin Bieber. He does seem to go out of his way to make himself as detestable as possible with his behavior. Generally speaking, we stick to sports over here and leave the social commentary on entitled teen pop star d-bags to sites like TMZ where people can actually make a living. But the opportunity for some fun here is just too strong to resist.

Many celebrities, especially those as insufferably satisfied with themselves as Bieber is, fancy themselves athletes too. Well, if the Biebs was, here are a few play by play calls I wouldn’t mind hearing.

“The Sabres bring it into the neutral zone and…wait! We have a fight! It’s John Scott and Justin Bieber. The Biebs is giving away 14 inches and about 120 pounds, but he does have pretty hair…”

“The Biebs, yo-yoing the ball up and down, fakes left and drives the lane, and OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!! Is that…Charles Oakley!? It appears Charles Oakley just came out of retirement to protect the paint, and Bieber is in the 27^th row! Not sure if they called that a foul or a homicide!”

“We’re here at the Sports Science Institute. Today, we’re going to examine what happens to the human body when a defensive lineman nails a quarterback. Jadaveon Clowney has graciously volunteered to be our DE, and as part of his probation, Justin Bieber is our quarterback. Of course, we’ll have to run this play several hundred times to make sure we have all the angles covered.”

“Welcome to the 120 meter high dive competition. As part of his dive, Justin Bieber is going to put on a blindfold. That might mean he can’t see right now that The Stain’s Torsten Sporn is trying frantically to empty the pool of all its water…”

Got any ideas that are better than mine? That’s what we have a comments section for, folks!

It’s a Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s…Carlos Perez?

Hey, Dodger fans? Guess who just retired 4 straight big leaguers in 1.1 perfect innings in the Dominican Winter League Final? If you said Carlos Perez, you’re two things. Right, and probably a heavy drinker.

For those of you who don’t remember, Perez was a Dominican lefty on the Expos, known for being a promising young pitcher and infuriatingly animated on the mound. His career started brightly, and in 1998, the Dodgers traded for him to supplement their pitching down the stretch. And supplement it he did. 4 wins, including a couple of complete game shut outs, led to a lucrative contract extension and boundless optimism among fans (yours truly included) about the future.

And then…well, nobody really knows what happened. Never overpowering to begin with, Perez lost about 8 miles per hour off of his fastball. No longer able to keep hitters honest, his once formidable breaking stuff was getting teed off on, and that was the beginning of the end.

Some guys age gracefully and decline slowly. For others, the end comes rapidly, and it’s often ugly. After a particularly ugly outing in 2000, Perez went ape…uh…poop on a Gatorade cooler, nearly braining teammate Darren Dreifort who was minding his own business nearby.

2000 was Perez’ last year in the big leagues. For years and years, he was a punch line, as well as a cautionary tale to GM’s looking to reward promising young pitchers with lucrative contract extensions. And then, the memories started to fade. Other pitchers with seemingly bright futures faded away. Rick Ankiel, though to be fair, he did one of the more remarkable things in baseball history, transforming himself from a failed pitcher to a semi-successful big league outfielder. Dontrelle Willis… I’m sure there are others.

Let’s fast forward to today, January 21, 2014. If someone with a cruel sense of humor decided to create a baseball Trivial Pursuit game with a bit of a dark side, one of the questions may be, what do major leaguers Emilio Bonifacio, Engel Beltre, Erick Aybar, and Juan Francisco have in common? The answer would be, they were retired in order by the 42-year-old Carlos Perez. Yes, that Carlos Perez. Bonifacio and Francisco…they went down on strikes.

Baseball is a weird, yet fascinating game. But if Perez somehow parlays this into a minor league invite, I’m not watching it anymore.

AFC Conference Championsip Preview

New England +4.5 @ Denver (55): The New England Patriots beat the Denver Broncos in overtime, in New England earlier this season, after the Patriots handed over a 24-10 halftime lead thanks to multiple fumbles early in that game. This game is in Denver, and I don’t expect it to be a sloppy game like the first one. I do believe the Patriots will pull this game out, but if the line was Denver +4.5, I would tell you to take Denver on the betting line.

The game will come down to a field goal or less, because, well, why not when you have a matchup of the two best quarterbacks in this generation. In all the great Peyton vs. Brady mathups, neither has ever won a playoff game against the other on the road, but that changes this weekend. Denver fans can get loud, but nothing like the Colts fans used to get in the dome, so Brady’s audibles at the line shouldn’t be an issue on Sunday.

The Broncos have lost another defensive back, and that could prove to be the difference. The Patriots have the biggest selection of unassuming wide outs, Danny Amendola, Julian Edelman, and Austin Collie, as any team has ever had, but they are productive. In addition, the running back depth is impressive, and Shane Vereen can create mismatches all over the field.

For the Broncos to win, they will need to lean heavy on Knowshon Moreno. The Patriots are thin at defensive tackle and middle linebacker, so a between the tackle running attack is their biggest weakness on defense. Despite this being a game between two Hall of Fame quarterbacks, the winner will be the team that is able to run the ball more efficiently.

You can follow Shaun Kernahan on twitter @shaunkernahan, add him to your network on Google, and like Shaun on Facebook.