There are just some things that I honestly never thought I would be doing. Not the least of which is saying that I watched a Chinese woman who I’ve never heard of win the French Open of tennis… Then again, I only know Maria Sharapova and that other chick who’s banging Enrique Iglesias. And then there’s that other one with all the substance abuse issues in the 90s… And that one who got stabbed… But that’s not even the point. Point is, I’m now sitting on the couch watching Baylor and Missouri battle it out in the women’s college softball World Series and it’s scoreless through 12. Each starting pitcher is STILL IN, each has made more than 160 pitches, they’ve combined for nearly 30 strikeouts, given up a combined 7 hits, and are still hitting 70 on the speed gun… which is about the MLB equivalent of 98. Oh, and the pitcher from Missouri made 90+ pitches in another game this afternoon for a healthy total of about 250 for the day. Eat your heart out, Nolan Ryan.

Watching Jonathan Papelbon and Jason Varitek get tossed by Tony Randazzo in the Red Sox A’s game today for arguing balls and strikes warmed my heart a little today. Nothing like blowing a lead in the ninth and blaming the ump for it, when it was former AL MVP Dustin Pedroia who let a game ending grounder go through his legs.

Did I miss something? Specifically, where was I when Christina Aguilera got a boob job? Holy hell, they’re huge! Beautifully huge… but geez, girl, do some cardio. Those wiggle woggle arms gotta go. What’s that? She had a kid??? Sigh… I’ve been under a rock…

Top 13, and the Baylor pitcher, some chick named Canion, is visibly tiring… after a beautiful TWELVE scoreless innings!!! Every major league pitcher, listen up. You’re a gigantic wussy. Take it from this tough guy here. HONEY! THERES NOT ENOUGH OJ IN MY MIMOSA!!!