We have spent quite a few words since the inception of our blog, railing on poor officiating. This ranges from the simply incompetent, to the blatantly cheating and corrupt, and encompasses the middle ground of the mediocre and inconsistent. Moreover, officiating as a whole is getting worse. Across all sports, we are seeing more bad calls, and accordingly, increasingly negative sentiment toward officials from players. Really, something ought to be done. But you know what, it won’t. Really, it can’t. Not until, anyway, the major sports abandon their idiotic blanket philosophy about shielding umpires/referees from the media.

 

The arguments against making officials have to answer for questionable calls seem valid on the surface. What good does it do to subject an umpire to the same question from a vampiric horde of reporters out for blood? 20 minutes of subjecting a guy to you really missed that call and cost the Orioles a couple of runs, how does that make you feel? is not productive. Neither is well, your crew gave the Panthers 9 power plays and Calgary only 3, how do you explain that BS? It then just becomes a carnival attraction where the umpires become the paper bulls’ eyes and the reporters become the unsteady children wielding the poorly sighted pellet gun, and the only stuffed animal available as a prize is a defensive we do the best we can from the officials.

 

And that is the problem. They don’t do the best they can. I’m not saying they don’t try their best, but they don’t do their best and there is a huge difference. How can they possibly do their best when there is no repercussion for getting it wrong? As a wise man once made up on the spot said, consequences only affect those to whom they apply. So when Jeff Nelson and Bill Welke somehow contrive to BOTH screw up an obvious strike three to Boston shortstop Mike Aviles, gifting the Red Sox three runs, to whom do the consequences apply? Certainly not to Nelson and Welke, who will resume posts on the field tonight and the next night without ever having to explain themselves, but most DEFINITELY to Jim Leyland’s Detroit Tigers who lost the game as a direct result of this double blown call. Sure, it’s all over ESPN today but that’s only because Leyland went on an expletive-laced tirade in front of reporters, challenging them to sack up and call a spade a spade.

 

Last night, Todd Tichenor erroneously ruled Milwaukee Brewers’ outfielder Norichika Aoki safe at first, saying that James Loney’s foot had come off the bag while fielding Aaron Harang’s throw. Replays clearly showed Loney’s foot on the bag, and it wasn’t close. Loney’s foot didn’t come off the bag until noticeably after he had caught Harang’s throw, and not just in slow motion. Despite this, Tichenor visibly tells an arguing Don Mattingly that he is “100% sure” of his call. This was pure crap, not just because Tichenor was clearly wrong, but also clearly positioned horribly on the play due to nothing other than laziness. Sure, Harang could have made a better throw and the play wouldn’t have been anywhere near subject to debate, but it doesn’t change the fact that Tichenor could have tried to get in better position for the call, but simply didn’t. It’s hard to argue that the subconscious knowledge that it doesn’t really matter in the large scheme of things whether he gets the call right or not had no effect on that. On the game, however, it had a huge effect. Milwaukee scored two runs as a sole result of the botched call, and the Dodgers lost by one. And before you think I only highlight calls that go against the Dodgers because I’m a Dodger fan… ok, well, you’d be right. But if I wasn’t biased, I might mention that the Dodgers may have benefitted from horrifically lazy umpiring early in the season by way of a triple play against the Padres that ultimately saved the game, and wouldn’t have happened.

 

The issues are not confined to baseball. In this year’s NHL playoffs, Raffi Torres targets Marian Hossa’s head with a cheap shot and gets a 25 game suspension. Shea Weber targets Henrik Zetterberg’s head with a cheap shot and gets a $2,500 fine. That’s like me doing 100mph in a school zone and getting a $2 speeding ticket. Sure, everyone except for Raffi Torres’ mother thinks he’s a piece of feces with a history of dirty play, while Weber is a team leader with very few if any questionable incidents in his history report, but we really don’t know because Brendan Shanahan, the NHL’s discipline czar, is not really required to explain himself. The Phoenix Coyotes may also feel aggrieved that the referees failed to call even a minor penalty on Dustin Brown mere seconds before my beloved LA Kings sent them back to the desert, after Brown injured Phoenix defenseman Michal Roszival with a questionable hit. Replays show that the hit wasn’t dirty, and that Roszival’s injury is unfortunate, rather than the result of a malicious cheap shot, but replays also show that the hit came slightly after the whistle so perhaps a two minute penalty for roughing wouldn’t have been unreasonable. The Kings may still have won the game, and almost certainly would have still won the series, but they certainly wouldn’t have won it in the 20 seconds following the hit, and Phoenix is left to wonder why the whistles were swallowed. And they’ll never get an explanation, because as it currently stands, they’re not entitled to one. They can’t even ASK too vociferously because anything even hinting at a criticism of refs in a post-game press conference leads to fines.

 

Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers got called for a technical foul during Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Miami Heat for what appeared to be dissent, or arguing a call. That may or may not have happened. Replays would appear to indicate that Rivers didn’t really say anything inflammatory enough to warrant a technical. Could it have been an accumulation? Belly aching about every single call until the ref has finally had enough? Sure… but guess what. We will never know. Why? BECAUSE THE REFEREES ARE NOT REQUIRED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.

 

I could spend another thousand words, or ten thousand, outlining specific examples of terrible calls but it would be beating a dead horse. As long as there is no consequence for getting a call wrong, there is no impetus for getting it right, and lack of impetus will breed laziness. It’s that simple. So, I propose the following.

 

In cases where a botched call (conclusively determined as botched on replay) causes an impact on the outcome of a game or irrevocably changes its course, teams may submit a request for explanation to a league body via email. Within 48 hours, the league body would have to submit a response via email granting or denying that request. If granted, the offending official would have to submit an official statement via the league office and available to the media about the situation, admitting that the call was gotten wrong and an explanation of why. We’re not talking about a bang bang play at first, where a billionth of a second is the difference between out and safe. A missed call like that can and does happen, and nobody dwells on it too long. I’m talking about stuff like Tim Welke ruling Jerry Hairston out at first base despite Todd Helton being off the bag by roughly the width of an interstate highway lane. Welke is a decent umpire and human being by all accounts, but he was irrefutably lazy on this call and had he paid any semblance of attention or bothered to be in position, he’d have gotten it right. He should have had to submit, assuming the Dodgers requested one, an official statement to the tune of, “I ruled the runner out on the play, clearly the replay shows my call was incorrect. I did not get myself in good position to make the call and as a result, the angle I was at kept me from seeing the call properly. I apologize for the mistake and will work hard to ensure that I don’t make the same one again. Nobody is perfect, but this is one that I should have gotten right.”

 

What would be wrong with that? That’s right, nothing. And before you dismiss the notion that holding officials accountable is a ridiculous notion for any reason involving ego, take the following quote into consideration. “It was the biggest call of my career and I kicked the (poo) out of it.” That was Jim Joyce admitting he got it wrong with two outs in the ninth, costing Andres Galarraga a perfect game. Joyce was not forced to own up, he just did. That might have something to do with why he is among pro sports’ most respected officials by players, fans, coaches, etc. For every Joe West, who thinks the game is really about him, there is a guy like Joyce, who understands how important his role is, and doesn’t take it lightly.

Have you ever had the urge to run around an indoor soccer arena with an oversized soccer ball tazing your friends?  Well, you are in luck, there is a new sport out there just for you.  Ultimate Tazer Ball has dubbed itself “The future of sport”, and while I don’t see it becoming the next NFL, it may have a better chance than the epic movie Rollerball.  There are currenlty four UTB teams, with the hope of many more to come.  The current teams are the Los Angeles Nightlight, the San Diego Spartans, the Toronto Terror, and the Philadelphia Killawatts.  Their website shows that they just did an Asian tour, but does not have a schedule for coming matches.  Regardless, a bunch of guys with a giant soccer ball, trying to throw it past a goalie while countless watts of electricity are running through their veins is certainly something to be seen.  I hope they have a match in LA sometime soon, and I would gladly attend and report back on this potential awesomeness.

Ok, I guess it would be just Guest Writing, but a special thanks to Fenway West for allowing me to go rant about my Red Sox.  Please visit Fenway West and give that fantastic blog some love as well.

So… I just spent the last week in Hawaii and man, is that place different. The first thing you’ll notice is that nobody is really in a hurry. Anywhere. The speed limit on the O’ahu freeways occasionally extends to 60, though very few people maximize the opportunity, but most of the time hovers in the 45 to 55 range. It’s not uncommon at all to be driving on a “highway” at about the same rate of speed that you navigate a school zone in California. Or, about with the same rate of urgency that the Lakers defended Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook. Or, if you’re looking for an antonym, opposite of the rate that Kobe Bryant threw his teammates (specifically Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum) under the bus. Can you really blame Bynum for saying he doesn’t care where he plays next season?

Another thing that’s odd about Hawaii, specifically O’ahu, is how their streetsigns are erected. Here in California, as in most places in the continental US, a street sign about an approaching freeway will be posted a decent distance before it arrives, as if to say hey, this freeway is coming up in case you wanted to get on it and needed to make a decision about which direction to travel on it. Why thank you, Mr. Streetsign. How kind of you to warn me! In Hawaii, it’s more like hey, back there is where you should have turned if you wanted to get on that freeway. But worry not, I’m sure you’ll find a great place to turn around in about 14 miles. Kind of like how the Lakers were defending Oklahoma City in those last couple of games. In case you were wondering who to guard, it was the guy who just scored an uncontested dunk and is now showboating in front of the scorer’s table.  Wait, did I already use that joke?

Had enough? Tough. A couple more observations from the islands that hit me like a Dustin Brown to Michal Roszival borderline hit.

Yeah, that hibiscus pineapple lemonade DID INDEED have alcohol in it… something I expected and paid for, but doubted until my ill fated attempt to nimbly hop off the barstool and find a mens room.

I don’t care how well behaved your children are, they need to be kept away from the waterslide during prime lunch and dinner hours. Seriously. They can be little angels 21 hours out of the day, but for the 1.5 hours each that cover lunch and dinner, they are screaming banshees. Kind of like no matter how impressive Ted Lilly’s ERA and record are, he’s merely lobbing grapefruits at the plate and it’s a matter of time before he gets raked for double digit runs in two and a third to bring his numbers up closer to his career standard of an ERA around 4… which still seems way better than a guy with questionable stuff and a complete inability to hold baserunners should have.

Enough with the pineapples already. Just… enough.

Additionally, much like Stephen A. Smith, Tony Kornheiser, Michael Wilbon, and a host of others should not take the fact that someone handed them a microphone as license to yell uninformed blither at the masses, people shouldn’t take being a tourist as license to act like a buffoon. A visit to the at-sea memorial for the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor should be and is sombering to most… though I’d swear I was surrounded by half a dozen Fran Drescher clones… seriously, ladies, there are people at rest here. Shut up and show some respect. 

Lastly, O’ahu must be quite fond of their ABC stores. There’s one on every stinkin’ corner in Waikiki. Seriously. If you don’t know, ABC stores are like a 7-11 and Target smushed into one, and then thrown in a dryer to shrink… or copied and pasted into Microsoft Word and shrunk to 25%. Everything from Hawaiian shirts to souveniers to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks for in between can be bought there. Why does there need to be one on every corner? I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s for the same reason that every golf tournament that’s broadcast feels the need to show every single one of Tiger Woods’ shots regardless of how far off the pace he is, and ESPN feels the need to show every Yankees game no matter that 9/10 of the country hates them.

Aloha.

I will start by admitting I cannot stand LeBron James.  Maybe because he came out of high school the same year as I did and he has about a quarter billion more dollars than me, or maybe it is because of the way he left Cleveland and he has been a rival to the Celtics since the first time he made the playoffs.  But that being said, back the hell off!  Check twitter, I made it clear I found it hilarious he got LeBron blocked and missed two free throws in the final few minutes of the fourth quarter, but at least he had the ball the majority of the quarter.  He played 43 minutes, and on that final possession, when the Heat were down three, he played a great decoy on the play which helped Chalmers get a shot that was a half dribble away from being uncontested.  Meanwhile, one Mr. Wade missed his final four shots, including a layup, and was called for a flagrant foul out of pure frustration.  Roles reversed, LeBron having the fourth Wade had and he would be all but crucified while Wade having the game LeBron had, and he would be praised for the minutes and flexibility of position put in. 

The fast forward another night, and you have the Lakers at the Thunder.  Lakers have a decent lead, and in further proof the NBA is pointless until the final 3 minutes, the Thunder come back and take a late lead.  There are a few seconds left and World Peace is taking the ball out of bounds.  The Lakers run a play, and Blake is wide open in the corner, the ball goes to him for an open three, and he shoots just long.  Now, here is the part I heard nobody point out after the game.  The ball bounces off the rim just past Kobe Bryant.  He did not make the slightest attempt for a rebound, and certainly did not make the heads up play to foul Westbrook, who had come up with the ball.  Instead Kobe throws a fit under the board that will surely be considered “competitiveness” by any LA media outlet.

Well, the Westbrook foul led to an inbound and another foul with 0.3 seconds left.  Durant made the first and missed the rim completely on the second.  So, with 0.3 seconds left the Lakers throw the ball ¾ court, and fail.  But here is what could have happened if Kobe wasn’t complaining about the ball going to a wide open shooter rather than him over multiple 7 footers in the midst of even more traffic.  Kobe could have bounced back after the shot and received an easy rebound, put it back in, and been the hero.  Even if he would have missed the rebound, he could have been in position to foul, saving a minimum of one second.  One second in basketball is 30 seconds in hockey time…you can actually run a play.  The foul would have left nearly a second and a half.  Durant would have shot both and made both, then a time out could bring the up half court.  The Lakers would have been able to run a play for a three pointer to tie and go to overtime.

But no, Kobe was too busy being a baby for not getting the ball in a situation that would have been a horrible idea.  Now, World Peace would have been forgiven because he was trying to get the ball to Kobe, but it would have been the worst decision he could possibly make.  Congrats Kobe, you have proved why basketball is losing the general public.  Intelligent people watch and realize that, while one player can make a difference, basketball is not at all a team game anymore.  You don’t get MJ letting Paxson or Kerr take the last shot, you get Kobe bitch his team to a loss and LeBron get ripped for distributing.  You get Tim Duncan going all but forgotten despite winning four rings by being a part of the epitome of a team.  NBA stars are bigger divas than NFL receivers, which are the only analogy I can think of in sports.  Even star footballers are bigger team players than a guy like Kobe.  So, can the media please stop bowing down to Kobe and ripping LeBron, and actually take a look at the actual play on the court for a change?  A little star accountability and we here at The Stain just may become interested again.

Oh, that’s right, they haven’t been there since the 60’s…but still, a blatant lack of class. Soccer seems to be filled with guys you just love to hate. Depending on your rooting interest, you might hate Wayne Rooney for his loud mouth, Drogba for diving if you look at him wrong, John Terry for sleeping with a teammate’s wife, Adebayor for looking exactly like Plaxico Burress, or Luis Suarez for his overall douchery. But today I believe Carlos Tevez has become public enemy #1 for me, and most United fans. Granted, in his time with United, he and Sir Alex Ferguson were far from buddy buddy, but during the Manchester City victory parade, Carlos Tevez managed to turn a celebration into a controversy. Maybe I am biased being a United fan, or maybe I am just ignorant to the typical celebrations during football victory parades around the world, but during a championship parade after an American championship, I really can’t recall a player taking blatant, cold hearted shots at an opponent. Sure, the 2004 Red Sox may have made some comments about the Yankees blowing a 3-0 series lead, but I don’t recall any of them saying Joe Torre’s career is dead. But Carlos Tevez holds up a “R.I.P Fergie” sign during the Manchester City victory parade, a sign that has actually caused “R.I.P Fergie” to trend on Twitter. Sure, Fergie can be accused of being a hypocrite when complaining of opponents playing dirty or officials making calls that clearly benefit the opposing team, but let’s face it, United probably gets 75% of the calls that could go either way, United does have players like Evra, Ferdinand, and Rooney who can use questionable tactics at times. But Sir Alex is arguably the best manager in the history of English football, much in the way a Phil Jackson or Joe Torre are considered the greats. Yeah, they have great teams with better talent than the other teams in the league, but still manage to keep the egos in check, and lift the talent to a level never before seen. Carlos Tevez is part of the first Manchester City team to win a league title since 1968. Meanwhile Sir Alex Ferguson has 12 league titles, 5 FA cup titles, 10 Community Shields, 2 Champions League titles, and a FIFA Club World Cup title. And that is just with United as a manager. So, go ahead Tevez, turn the day that should be simply a celebration for Manchester City and their fans, but instead all you have done is highlight the fact that City is still United’s little brother. You cannot tell the history of the Premiership without heavily featuring Manchester United and Sir Alex Ferguson. Manchester City will be merely a mention in the history of the league, and Tevez is a name that can easily be overlooked. Go back to enjoying this season’s accomplishments Tevez, United had it’s least talented squad in years this past season and you won on goal differential. You just pissed off Sir Alex, so you can bet United will load up going into next year, and leave you in the dust. Enjoy this while you can.

It is all too easy to give this award to Josh Beckett, a guy that basically complained about having just 18 off days a year.  That clearly doesn’t include any of the off-season, spring training, or days that he has just a bullpen session, long toss, or light jogging before getting a front row seat to games people spend hundreds of dollars a game.  But if he wants to consider a great day at the park as work, then I just feel bad for him.  The real douche of the week belongs to the high school Our Lady of Sorrows.  They refused to play, and as a result, forfeited the state championship baseball game against Mesa Preparatory Academy because Mesa has a girl on the team.  Paige Sultzbach, the 15 year old female second baseman, agreed to sit out the two regular season games against Our Lady of Sorrows, but understandably did not agree to sit out a game for the state championship.  Congrats Lady of Sorrows, you have taught your students that there is no such thing as equality and women should not be treated the same in competitive situations.  Don’t worry, I am sure none of your male students will ever have colleagues or even bosses that are women, well done, and contrary to your name, it isn’t a lady who should be filled with sorrows.

 

Bonus Rant:  I spent the past four days up in Flagstaff, Arizona for my brother’s college graduation and came across many oddities on the road, and have decided to share some of my thoughts and observations from the road. And fair warning, these are not sports related.

• Douche of the road: The car that pulls into the carpool lane, slows to 55 mph, and in less than 5 miles, has created a mile long stretch of cars that can’t get by.
• Never trust a strip club attached to the back of a truck stop in the middle of nowhere.
• Coming from someone that lives in place that is at least an hour and a half away from the nearest location, Sonic commercials lie….they are way better than that.  Seriously, I lived the commercials just by visiting.
• In Arizona there is a wash named the “Holy Moses Wash”, I can’t be sure, but I believe it parts in the middle.

• Behold…the elusive car hat.  You know, for when your car doesn’t want to get it’s hair messy.

 

Don Mattingly had 20 at bats against Jamie Moyer in his playing career. That’s more than all but two players currently on the Dodger roster. So, the manager has activated himself for tonight’s game. Sure, Donnie Baseball got his last career hit in a different century, but if you can’t get around on Moyer’s mid 70s heater, you shouldn’t even be playing co-ed softball.

In fairness to the 49 year old Moyer, his ERA is currently a very respectable 4.01. That’s serviceable most places, but especially when half of his innings, give or take, are thrown in the hitters’ haven of Coors Field.

That said, I’m setting the over under on strikes Moyer throws to Matt Kemp at 1, and betting the under.

What does a manager do when one of his players is mired in a slump, having fallen prone to poor habits? Well, bench him for a game or three, of course. Give him time to figure it out. What does a manager do when one of his players violates a team curfew, or shows up on game day hung over, or otherwise participates in conduct detrimental to the team? Well, suspend him, of course. You can apply this to just about any sport. A player screws up or suddenly can’t get it right, well, get him out of there for a bit. You don’t just cut the guy outright. Give him a chance to sort it out.

Why does it have to be all or nothing with a manager? Why can’t a GM step in when his manager goes on a streak of poor decision making that starts costing his team games? Why can’t the GM simply sit the manager out for a few games, turning the reigns over to a bench coach for a few games, rather than firing him, or continuing to watch him botch big decision after big decision?

Dodgers Manager Don Mattingly is a prime example of a manager who needs to be benched. Fired? Not yet. He has some great managerial qualities. He knows how to talk to his players, keep them focused, bring the best out of most of them. He has the gravitas to his words that really only a former player (and all-star at that) can have with his current players. Sure, he also has his flaws. He refuses to call out umpires despite an alarming slew of close calls (and some that were not so close, right Mr. Welke?) going incorrectly against the Dodgers. I firmly believe that a manager needs to be willing to run out there and bump an umpire, go on an expletive-laced tirade in a post-game press conference, rip a base out of the ground and wing it into the outfield. Draw some attention to the fact that, either intentionally or otherwise, the umpires are screwing your team repeatedly. Now, that being said, this is not what this article is about.

Mattingly has shown alarmingly bad decision making this season. This fact has been somewhat obscured by the fact that the team is 8 games over .500 at the time of this article and in first place, but make no mistake. It’s in spite of Mattingly. If not for the Cy Young caliber of pitching being delivered by Ted Lilly and Chris Capuano (guys who were merely expected to eat innings and keep the team in games) and the superhuman offensive exploits of Matt Kemp, this team could easily be 8 games below .500. There is no finer example of Mattingly’s ineptitude than last night’s game against the Giants.

Twice, trailing by one run, Mattingly asked his hitter to bunt in a situation where the Dodgers had first and second, and nobody out. What’s wrong with this, you ask? Well, unless your hitter is your pitcher, or you have the opportunity to move the winning run to third with less than two outs in bottom of any game-winning inning (ninth or later), bunting is simply idiotic and counter-productive. Even when successful. Empirical data proves it, if you even need empirical data to prove that essentially gift-wrapping and giving your opponent a free out when you only get three per inning is moronic. Very few things are worse. And Mattingly managed to pull off two of them within a couple innings of one another.

First, he asked Juan Uribe to sacrifice runners over in the 6th. Granted, Uribe was a collosal disaster last year, but actually has shown signs of swinging the bat better this season. They brought him in to produce. Drive in runs in the clutch. Hit for power. And then, in the exact situation that you paid him $21 million over three years to perform in, you ask him to make an automatic out. It’s inexplicable. Even in the best case scenario, (Uribe gets the bunt down successfully and both runners advance) you have your 8th place hitter up (the very capable AJ Ellis), who would then just be intentionally walked to bring up the pitcher Clayton Kershaw. Sure, you could pinch hit for him… but then your best pitcher is now out of the game and there’s no guarantee you even push the tying run across. Especially with the abomination of players that comprise the Dodger bench (the excellent but injured Jerry Hairston notwithstanding). Invariably, it’s a disaster. Uribe bunts into a double play (though the first base ump cheated missed the call horribly on the back end).

As if that wasn’t enough, the Dodgers had the exact situation in the 8th inning, only this time it was Mark Ellis up. On deck, the inhuman Matt Kemp. The WORST thing you can possibly do is have Ellis bunt, right? Even if he does it perfectly, you are guaranteeing that the best hitter in the universe whose name doesn’t contain either Josh or Hamilton in it doesn’t get to swing the bat. Moreover, you KNOW that the Giants have Javier Lopez in the pen, who hasn’t given up anything to a left handed hitter since Truman was president, to face Ethier. How did not a single member of the Dodger coaching staff intervene. Nothing, I repeat, nothing could possibly have been worse than asking Ellis to bunt. So you had to know that the bunt would be EXACTLY what Mattingly ordered Ellis to do. I doubt you need to be told, but I will tell you anyway. Ellis bunted well, moved the runners up. The Giants walked Kemp intentionally, brought in Lopez to face Ethier, who promptly hit into an inning-ending double play. I have witnesses who both saw and heard me predict exactly this.

If I repeatedly made mistakes of this magnitude at my day job, I would be summarily fired. Quickly. Mistakes are one thing. But seriously, if a manager was throwing a game because he bet against his own team, he WOULDN’T bunt in those situations because he would probably think it would make his self-sabotage too OBVIOUS!!!  I might have a stroke…

Again, I don’t want Mattingly fired. I think he has the potential to do good things as a manager. But if Mike Scioscia can sit down Albert Pujols after the slugger has a homerless April and a batting average near the Mendoza line, if Mattingly himself can sit down James Loney for hitting less than two bucks, Ned Colletti has to be able to step in and remove Mattingly as manager for a few games. He must have this ability, this freedom, this emergency brake to pull. These are the kinds of things than can start lengthy losing streaks if not kept in check. The Dodgers really have an opportunity to build on their good start. Their division is weak. Their pitching is strong. They just have to figure out a way to avoid getting caught in the crossfire of the circular firing squad that is their manager right now.  

Seriously, eat your heart out, Harry Houdini. Another year, another great relegation escape by Wigan Athletic, the little Lancashire team that could. Easily one of the most unfashionable teams to ever experience any kind of extended stay in the Premiership, one can be forgiven for thinking that the Latics have outlived their shelf life in the top flight. After all, other than their inaugural season in the top flight, one in which they finished comfortably in mid-table and never really saw any danger, every single season has been battle to avoid relegation. Some have been more harrowing than others; a late penalty from David Unsworth against Sheffield United in the last game to secure safety, a 1-0 win away to Stoke in the last game of last season after a stoppage time winner from Charles N’Zogbia against West Ham to keep hope alive the previous week. Every other season has seen Wigan finally clinch safety right around Game 37.

Then there was this year. Roll the calendar back to March, and there are the Latics, firmly anchored to the bottom of the table, multiple wins adrift from safety. The officiating has done them no favors, ranging from the comically bad to the blatantly biased, and with 9 games to go, a veritable Murderers’ Row of Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Champions League hopefuls Newcastle remain on the docket. When you’re a minnow like Wigan, every match is an uphill battle. Those against the top 6 might as well be the Plight of Syssiphus.

The following run of games really should be the stuff of legend. Wins away to Liverpool and Arsenal, home against Man U and Newcastle (not to mention another robbery from the officials depriving them of a deserved win against Chelsea) away to Stoke (no slouches at the Brittania), and finally the clincher away to Blackburn and it’s another year in the top flight for the Latics. This wasn’t David slaying Goliath. This was David slaying four Goliaths, a schoolyard bully and then (admittedly picking on someone its own size

You can argue all day long about how they somehow manage to pull off great escape after great escape. Maybe it’s luck. Maybe God loves them. But whatever it is, the circumstances under which they do it are what make their accomplishments truly remarkable. This isn’t your Moneyball Oakland Athletics competing with bigger and richer baseball squads using algorithms and innovative analysis to determine what slightly undervalued players might perform at a high enough level for a bargain salary to make the playing field less slanted. This is a team that loses its best players to greener (both in the money sense and the other cliché) pastures after every year. The players they’ve lost over the years would make up a pretty good side. Jimmy Bullard, Leighton Baines, Jason Roberts, Henri Camara, Antonio Valencia, Wilson Palacios, Charles N’Zogbia, Emile Heskey, Paul Scharner, and the list goes on to include other lesser known but influential players like Pascal Chimbonda and Lee Cattermole. Heck, even Titus Bramble fled town for the relative comforts of Sunderland.

Every year, they’re forced to replenish the roster with a new batch of players who must somehow be good enough to keep them up again. And it’s not as if they can shrug their shoulders and just grab players who are established equals of the departed. Wigan isn’t exactly a desirable club in a desirable location! The weather sucks, the team is a preseason pick for the drop every year, and they can barely get enough fans to a home game to populate a nightclub. They have to troll the lower divisions, vulture the relegated teams, venture to far off continents in hopes of unearthing gems who can compete in the World’s best league, with the full knowledge that those who prove to be the elusive gems will merely be using Wigan as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. It’s a battle inside of a vicious cycle.

After this year, they figure to lose Victor Moses, their brightest young star. Hugo Rodallega also figures to exit stage elsewhere, despite an unimpressive campaign. Midfield dynamo James McCarthy is another who might be gone. They’ll likely have to fend off advances for Ali Al Habsi, and maybe even James McArthur, whose late season emergence as a destroyer in the defensive midfield likely drove his stock up. Once again, they’ll hang their hats on soldiers like the dependable Emerson Boyce, whose tenure with the team is surpassed only by backup goalie, Mike Pollitt. And captain Gary Caldwell, who somehow transformed himself from calamity-prone joke punchline to uncompromising titan in defense over the last two months. And Franco Di Santo, whose general inability to score goals might be overlooked due to his top drawer work rate. And Antolin Alcaraz, he of the safety-clinching goal against Blackburn. And whomever else Roberto Martinez can convince to stay on, as well as join his little, unheralded squad, perhaps using the skill-oriented attractive style he imported as bait.

That is of course, if Sir Alex Ferguson doesn’t retire and choose Martinez as his hand-picked replacement in the city of Manchester. Because that’s going to happen one day. Carve it in stone. It’s going to happen. Just hopefully not yet.