How Kevin Youkilis Saved the Obama Administration

Here at The Stain, we generally try to stay away from politics treat just about any topic as fair game, so why not politics too. I can’t speak for Shaun, but let me just get something out of the way real quick. Barack Obama will once again get my vote for president, something I waffled between regretting and being glad I did many times during his first four years in office. And I say first four years under the assumption that there are going to be another four. Because really, how can there not be. I can’t be the only one out there who will be casting my ballot in favor of the President by sole virtue of the fact that he is not Mitt Romney. Can you really imagine a guy whose camp makes a public big deal about a tongue in cheek joke that could easily be interpreted as a compliment regarding a popular athlete?

Recently, the Red Sox traded popular third baseman Kevin Youkilis to the White Sox (who would ever have thought you’d say the names Kevin Youkilis and Brent Lillibridge in the same sentence not involving a play at 3rd). The trade tugged at the heartstrings of the Boston community, and understandably so. Youk, as he’s affectionately known by fans and teammates, is emblematic of Bostonians; intense, hard-working, blue-collar and driven. But, all those things or otherwise, Youk had struggled with injuries and sub-standard performance for him. Meanwhile, rookie Will Middlebrooks was excelling. It was time for the old soldier to move to the next army. Sure, Red Sox fans rank among the most obnoxious and irritating people in the history of people, but they are not devoid of emotion. That trade, while right for the team, hurt them.

Back to Romney, being from Boston, it’s not exactly a stretch that he’s a Red Sox fan. So when Obama hit the campaign trail in Boston to try and wrangle up some support, he made a cheeky, even a bit funny, comment thanking Boston for trading Youk to his hometown White Sox, eliciting calls of “Yoooouuuuuk!!!” from the audience. Read between the lines, and the President’s comment amounts to, paraphrased of course, “Thanks for trading us your good player, we’re gonna love him in Chicago.”

Of course, knowing who the Republican camp is, an idiotic retort wasn’t exactly beyond the stretch of the imagination… but who would have expected this:

Maybe the president should have congratulated the team for winning the World Series in 2004 and 2007. Instead, he chose to mock them for trading away one of its favorite players at a time when the team is struggling.

Those were the words of Romney press secretary, Andrea Saul. Are. You. Kidding me? She would have the president say, “Hey, congrats on those two world series titles 5 and 8 years ago! How about a vote, eh!” The country is on the precipice of a historic election, and that’s the best youv’e got? I’ve never been a mathlete, but this law of averages thing that everyone learned about in middle school is finally making sense to me. There is an average intelligence because there are both smart and dumb people. And in the immortal words of the late, great comedian George Carlin, “Think about how dumb the average person is, and then think. Half the people are dumber than that!”

In fairness, stupidity is not limited to the Romney camp. Inexplicably, White House press secretary Jay Carney felt the need to respond. Really, he did. In a time where a federal healthcare reform law hangs in the balance, the economy still in a struggle, joblessness still rampant, it’s a popular but aging third baseman our presidential candidates are quibbling over.

My blood pressure medication is currently not working.


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