Bethany College – The men’s golf team was suspended after the team posted a picture on facebook, fully nude, with golf clubs covering their junk. Kinda feel bad for the guy using a 1 iron. I would throw in a joke about a guy on the team being named Ben Johnson, but then I found out the captain of the team…Jack Hiscock.
The Big East – The Big East has requested a rule change in the NCAA guidelines. They wanted to remove a potential violation because the players had the gall to request their post-game bagels include cream cheese!
Preseason Football – While watching a game earlier this week, I heard the greatest announcement ever by an official. “False start, on the offense….the entire offensive line.
Cliff Harris – The Oregon defensive back was recently arrested when on a routine traffic stop the officer smelled marijuana. He asked if anyone had marijuana on them and Harris decided to say, “Nah, we smoked it all.”
Demolition Derby – After winning a recent demolition derby, a Kentucky man was immediately arrested…for drunk driving. We at The Stain absolutely do not condone drinking and driving, but in a demolition derby, couldn’t you almost consider it a performance enhancing drug?
Joey Harrington – Harrington was recently hit by a car while riding his bike in Portland. He was pretty seriously injured, doing okay now though, and when in the emergency room, the doc asked him how he was doing, Harrington reminisced about his NFL days and said, “C’mon, I played four years in Detroit, a car is nothing.”
Matt Holliday – In a recent game against the Dodgers, Matt Holliday had to leave the game because a moth got stuck in his ear. The training staffs first idea to get it out, put him in a dark room, turn on one bright light, and hope the moth flies out….it didn’t work, so they grabbed tweezers and got it. No confirmation that the Cardinals now provide moth-balls to keep in the players hats.
Luke Hughes – Joe Mauer played a game in right because a recent call up Luke Hughes didn’t make it to the game in time. Why? He missed his flight. We have all traveled and know missing a flight happens, but for him, it was because he couldn’t find the gate, in a 15 gate airport, Lehigh Valley International Airport. He went to gate 9B rather than 9A. Maybe he should have had a cup of coffee before getting his cup of coffee.
British Volleyball – At the 2012 Olympics, the British Women’s Volleyball team will be wearing one of the most inventive advertisements ever. A British gambling site will have barcodes on the back-sides of the women. You at home can watch the match, and when you get a close up view of one of the ladies asses, press pause, take out your smartphone, scan the barcode, and visit the website for deals. I think they should institute this at strip clubs. Girls wear barcode pasties with potential prizes of free drinks, free entry on your next trip, or maybe even a free lap dance.
The Raiderettes – The Raiders will have the oldest cheerleader in the NFL this year. Suzie Sanchez is 37, not too bad, but, also a grandmother. I guess Al Davis wanted a cheerleader born within a century of him.