I got a good response to my Stupidity in Sports Smear about 6 weeks ago, and so long as sports keep supplying it, I will attempt to post a new version every month or so. Now without further ado, time for the April/early May edition.
Mike Leake – I know this is an old story, but still, the guy was busted for shoplifting 6 shirts under $10 a piece. His base salary is in the $400,000 range. I am excited when I can find shirts under $10 that I like, and I make a small fraction of Mike Leake’s salary…but apparently $60 is too much for a big leaguer to pay for a weeks worth of wardrobe.
Cal State Long Beach Cheerleaders – No, cheer leading is not a sport, but this story is just too good. The Cal State Long Beach Cheer coach was fired and the school gave up their national title when it was discovered one of the male members of the squad was in fact a former student who no longer attended the school and was ineligible.
Carl Lewis – He recently attempted to run for the New Jersey state Senate. Problem, New Jersey has a four-year residency requirement to be eligible to run for Senate. Carl Lewis “did not yet own his home in New Jersey, did not otherwise live in New Jersey, did not file his taxes in New Jersey, was not registered to vote in New Jersey and did not have his business in New Jersey” until the past year. And while he won the first law suit, he lost the second and was determined he is not allowed to run for Senate in New Jersey. Maybe in a few years Carl.
Jonathon Broxton – Broxton recently went on the DL with soreness in his elbow. As of my last check, they had not figured out what is wrong with it. Why you ask? Simple, the bum that lost me a bet with Torsten is too friggin fat to fit in the MRI machine. Hey Broxton, eat a salad, throw a strike, and stop sucking. I owe Torsten a lunch because of your fat ass.
Paul Pierce – In game one of the Boston Celtics-Miami Heat series, Pierce was tossed due to his second technical foul, which was a bit questionable at the time, but when reading his text after the game, not only was it reasonable, but it made for my favorite trash talk ever. You may remember in game 6 of the Eastern Conference final when Le’Bron James basically quit on his team. Then there were rumors of Delonte West having…how shall we say…relations with James’ mom. Well, West is now with the Celtics, James is with the Heat, and when the hard screen was set by Pierce and there was a bit of an altercation between Wade and Pierce, he simply said he would do the same to Wade’s mom as his buddy Delonte did to James’ mom. A well earned technical in my book.
Tenby AFC – A very small football club in West Wales knows how to party. During a season ending banquet, after a few beers and games of pool, one of the members of the team thought it would be fun to moon his teammates, one of his teammates too exception, shoved a pool cue in the direction of the mooning player, and firmly impaled the cue into the players…again choosing words carefully…rectum. That is right, one guy shoved a pool cue up his teammates ass….ok, so I allowed one less than PC word slip but in a completely worthy scenario. The Premiership players may enjoy throwing darts at kids, but in the small town clubs, it is all about sodomizing your buddies with pool cues.
And now for an attempt at creating a sign off for myself….Smear ya later.
Eh…worth a shot.