Rivalry games sure are fun, and college kids sure are creative.  With the cross town rivalry coming up this weekend between UCLA and USC, students in one of the dorm buildings on UCLA’s campus decided to leave USC a message.  Here at The Stain, we do avoid typing any profanities, but I figured I found a loophole, I am not writing it, I am just posting a picture of a dorm building…enjoy.

I know it is easy to pick on the officials, but today was one of the worst officiated game I have ever seen.  It is bad enough after 75 minutes of football a game ends in a tie, but what about the fact two terrible and one questionable decision by the officials may have very well cost the Rams a football game today.  In the first half of the game, the ball was spotted very close to the first down yard to gain.  As is the norm, they brought out the chains and measured.  What they didn’t do was stop the clock.  Nearly two minutes later, they line up to run the next play, clock still running, when the officials stop the clock to review and get the clock right.  Well done…except they didn’t change the time left on the clock.  Final drive of the first half, Rams run a fake punt and work up towards mid-field before the time runs out.  Would have been nice to have that minute plus back.  Then, in overtime, Young GZ kicks a 53 yarder to win it…only delay of game was called.  Now, you may think once the clock hits 0 it is a delay of game, but that is not necessarily true.  The back judge is responsible for looking at the play clock, when it shows 0, he must look down, if the ball is still stationary delay is the call.  When the replay showed the clock right next to the ball, it appeared the clock reached 0 at the same moment the ball was snapped, therefore, I don’t feel delay should have been called.  Then, later in OT, while the Rams are trying to run the hurry up, the official spots the ball 5 yards away from where the runner was marked down, both teams line up over the ball, before the official picks the ball back up and moves it.  Again, the clock runs for a good 6-7 seconds while the officials try to remove their heads from their backsides.  The Rams later complete a pass and get out of bounds just as time expires in 49er territory.  With the time wasted by unexceptable officials, the Rams could have easily thrown a Hail Mary or run a quick out and been in long field goal range.  It is easy to say the officials cost the Rams the game, and there is no telling they would have taken advantage of the two clock mishaps, but regardless, the officials took the chance away.  The NFL never will, especially since they didn’t even admit the officials were wrong in the Seahawks-Packers game earlier this year, but the league office deserves the fans that devoted 4 hours to that game an appology.

The age old question remains, does God give a damn who wins a game? If you listened to the winners, it would certainly seem so with how many players are in a hurry to give the Almighty One all the credit. How come God never has to bear any burden for a defeat though. Praise abounds, but you never hear anyone blame Him/Her, do you? Where are the, “Yeah, I think we were doing well there until Jesus made me throw that interception.” Why no, “First, let me just blame God because God is bad.” Sure, Stevie Johnson hinted at Jesus not wanting him to catch a perfect overtime pass in the end zone from Ryan Fitzpatrick, but nobody has ever really pinned a defeat on divine intervention.

Truthfully though, if you were God, wouldn’t you do it? If for no other reason than to eff with people, wouldn’t you affect the outcomes of certain things? I’m not talking about Angels in the Outfield stuff here. I’m talking about karma. I’m talking about rebuttal to hypocrisy. I’m talking about penance for willful disregard of honorable play. Take Evander Holyfield for example. Holyfield was a boxing champion, an entertains brawler with a granite chin who never ducked an opponent no matter how fearsome (or hungry in Mike Tyson’s case). He was easy to cheer for because of his boxing exploits, but once he opened his mouth after a fight, it was nauseating. The Lord this and The Lord that…from a man with numerous illegitimate children outside his marriage. If you were The Lord, wouldn’t you bestow upon him crippling financial problems and slurred speech due to likely CTE?

Or what if you were Jesus, just chillin with your dad on a fluffy cloud, draining a few beers, watching a very entertaining NLCS between the Giants and Cardinals with no vested interest in a winner. Wouldn’t Matt Holliday’s borderline criminal slide to take out Marco Scutaro, a classy veteran who plays the game right, compel you to afflict Holliday with a bad back, forcing him to sit idly by and ultimately participate at a fraction of his ability while you flatten out his pitchers’ breaking pitches at crucial times and turn his teammates’ formidable wooden bats to flimsy cardboard giftwrap rolls?

Tell me you wouldn’t. Tell me you wouldn’t punish the hypocrites and charlatans. Or maybe you already are, and while you’re at it, just for kicks you’re condemning the blogger who outed your shenanigans to the sporting world to a mundane and banal existence jockeying a painfully bland desk for a living. I’d like to thank The Lord…especially if He/She can now throw a Dodger fan a bone and not let San Francisco beat Detroit in the World Series. If God can do me that one solid, I’d like to thank The Lord…

Please, add your own thoughts.

20 game winner. NL strikeout leader. Uh…knuckleballer. Three gin and tonics ago, I probably could have come up with another superlative for R.A. Dickey, the Mets’ amazing right hander who has experience a career renaissance at an age when most guys are staring retirement in the face. Did I just spell renaissance correctly? Don’t know. Don’t care. Don’t feel like opening another internet window to go to dictionary.com.

If Dickey does not win the NL Cy Young award this year, it will be nothing less than criminal. The award, by definition, goes to the league’s best pitcher. The numbers he has put up are rivaled by only one, the Nationals’ Gio Gonzalez. However, Gio’s numbers are just slightly inferior in every category, wins notwithstanding, and he plays for a better team across the board.

So here’s the facts. Dickey plays for a lousy team but leads the NL in most pertinent pitching categories. Gonzalez is second in most while playing for a very good team. Take nothing away from Gio. He’s a big reason why his Nats are a playoff team. But has he been the best? Nope. R.A. has.

If I may, I’d like to vomit for what I’m about to say. The MVP award is a bit different than the Cy Young. It is supposed to go to the most valuable player in the league, not necessarily the best or most skilled. So, as much as it kills me as a Dodger fan, I’d also like to say that if anyone but Buster Posey wins it, the award is a joke. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is more responsible for a Giants team running away with the NL West after losing its most productive player at the time (Melky Cabrera) to a doping suspension.

Oh, one more baseball bit for you. And more on this in an upcoming smear, but what kind of discussions about awards and such do you think Luis Cruz would be involved in if the Dodgers were not about to be eliminated from playoff contention? On a team with Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, Adrian Gonzalez, and Hanley Ramirez, the name Luis Cruz should not be the answer to the question, “Who is the Dodgers best hitter?” Is he? Nope. But he’s hitting close to .350 the last two months. When it matters. And nobody else on that offense has come close. It’s really too bad. At least for Dodger fans.

The fourth gin and tonic is now taking its effect. It just took me three minutes to type that sentence. So I’ll sign off here.

July 9, 2005, a man by the name of Adam Greenberg realized his dream and made his major league debut.  He was called on by manager Dusty Baker to pinch hit in the 9^th inning in Florida against the Marlins.  The scrappy lefty settles into the box against Marlin’s pitcher Valerido de los Santos.  First pitch is a 92 MPH fastball…bang…right off Greenberg’s head.  He immediately went to the ground holding his head as the fastball hit hard enough to knock his helmet clean off.  He was removed from the game and taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with a concussion.  For the next year and a half he suffered from blurred vision, dizziness, nausea, and many other post-concussion syndromes, causing his baseball career to be put on hold.  Since then he has played for several minor league teams and independent ball.  He recently played sparingly for team Israel in the WBC qualifying tournament, but at age 31, no franchise will give Greenberg a realistic shot at making a team.

That is until a filmmaker and huge baseball fan created a campaign for Greenberg called One At Bat.  He started a website, petition, made t-shirts and posters, and created a 5 minute video to spread the word.  The goal was to get Greenberg a shot with the Cubs again, but ultimately, make Greenberg’s career last longer than just one pitch.  Well…he succeeded.  Greenberg was not signed by the Cubs, but the team on the other side of the lines on that night Greenberg realized his dream of playing big league ball, and immediately had his dream ripped away, has signed him.  Yes, the Miami Marlins have signed Greenberg to a one day contract.  He will be given a pinch hit at-bat in the Marlin game next Tuesday, October 2^nd against the Mets and knuckleballer R.A. Dickey.  Whether he strikes out, walks, gets a base hit, or takes one deep, it does not matter, because 7 years, 2 months, and 24 days after Greenberg’s career both began and ended, he gets to realize his dream one more time.

Man, I am really starting to enjoy this whole devil’s advocate thing when arguing in favor of the replacement officials. I still stand by my assertion that the NFL’s regular officials are no better than shambolic as a whole. They suck. They are too old, slow, and inconsistent. Sure, they get most false start and offside calls right, but when it comes down to it, nobody is ever really happy with them. I have to admit, though, Monday night’s finish was pretty… interesting.

I’m not going to disrespect any reader by insinuating that the end of Monday’s game between Seattle and Green Bay was handled correctly. Admittedly, it did look like Seattle got away with two pretty obvious offensive pass interference penalties. On the other hand, the regular refs call offensive PI so infrequently anyway, what’s the fuss about? On any change of pace, or direction route, the receiver often pushes off on the cornerback with impunity. It’s only when the infraction is so glaring that it’s practically impossible to ignore that they call offensive PI.

But let’s talk about the final play for a second. Can we stop making a villain out of Golden Tate? Sure, it appeared that MD Jennings was first to the ball and came down with an interception. Then, Tate may or may not have ended up with partial possession? I dunno, hard to tell. But is what Tate did any different than what goes on at the bottom of a pile after someone fumbles? Is it? The guy who ends up “recovering” the fumble is not always the first guy to have it, guaranteed. There is a fight for that ball under that pile, and if Tate did anything but fight as hard as he could to gain possession of that ball from Jennings, he didn’t do enough for his team. Can we agree on that? Good.

What a terrific job done by the replacement officials!  They are really starting to come around! And no, of course I’m not serious. But, that being said, it bears mentioning the following, which I have already mentioned before. They’re really not doing any worse than the regulars. Sure, they’ve had some embarrassing and highly publicized gaffes. The thing is, when these guys screw up, everyone is all over it, blowing it out of proportion and making it front page news. When the regular guys screwed up, it was just… well, a human screw up.

Let’s take last night’s game between New England and Baltimore. Early on, there was some rough play and after-the-whistle activity that wasn’t called. That was a mistake, but not necessarily one that isn’t overcomeable. Late on, there were two critical plays: a Joe Flacco bomb down the side line in which the Pats were called for pass interference inside their own ten, and the game winning field goal which was extraordinarily close to the upright, but called good.  The refs got both calls right. Nothing they did in this game affected the outcome the wrong way. But nobody is talking about that.

The Problem: Roger Goodell is pansy. A narcissist. A megalomaniac. A hypocrite. Players and coaches are hollering about player safety being at risk. Newsflash, it’s football. Player safety is always at risk. However, if you’re saying that the players might be taking liberties with the replacement referees and playing dirty in a way they think they can get away with, that is the easiest fix in the world. Make an announcement. All 15 yard penalties will be sent to the league office for review. If it’s deemed that the play was intentionally dirty, both the player and head coach will be subject to a $100,000 fine. Done.

But Torsten, you say. What about all the calls the refs are missing? Well, if you are a team president or coach or GM, and you think the other team has taken liberties with your players, send video to the league office for review. If it’s deemed that the play, flagged or unflagged, was intentionally dirty, both player and coach are subject to a $100,000 fine.

See where I’m going with this? You can take it further and tack on suspensions. Or how about this? Take a Scarlet Letter approach and make multiple offenders wear a big red D on their helmets so the refs know who to keep an eye on.

Regardless of what you do, stop blaming the refs entirely. Until Goodell shows some backbone, nothing is gonna get better.

Homer Corner: Speaking of football and dirty hits, here’s a way coaches can help. Even though Jeff Fisher has gotten the reputation of being a dirty coach and advocating dirty play, even he had to cringe at Mario Haggan’s completely unnecessary personal foul on the Chicago Bears punter on Sunday. It cost the Rams a defensive stop, and led to a Chicago field goal. If Fisher really is intent on turning this franchise around, cutting Haggan on the spot would have been a good start. Right there. On the field. Clean out your locker, son. You’re done. Haggan is an okay player, but not a star. Clearly, he’s also a moron. Cut him.

More on Fisher and how he is quickly showing that he is merely pedestrian as a coach (still a huge upgrade over the previous regime) and how the exact opposite is being seen in New Orleans. For now, back to my day job.

In 2002, a 16 year old football star at powerhouse Long Beach Poly was accused of raping a classmate.  At the age of 16, this boy was tried as an adult, and at the advice of his lawyer, pleaded no contest to avoid life behind bars.  This boy grew into manhood behind bars, 5 years and 2 months later he was released on parole, trying to start his life, but registered as a sex offender and donned a tracking ankle monitor.  Then, earlier this year, his accuser came forward and admitted to fabricating the accusation of rape, and the judge threw out all charges and convictions, officially giving 26 year old Brain Banks his freedom. 

This offseason, Banks was worked out by the Seattle Seahawks, Oakland Raiders, Miami Dolphins, and Washington Redskins, however he was signed by none of them.  Banks was not able to finish his high school career, play in college, despite being recruited by many of the top programs in the country, or realize his NFL dream.  However, today it has been announced he has been signed by the UFL squad Las Vegas Locomotives.  He will play linebacker for the Locomotives, and will play in his first competitive football game in 10 years.

Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg, spent time in prison, and came back to the NFL.  Michael Vick ran a dog fighting ring, spent time in prison, and is a starting NFL quarterback again.  Every day players are arrested for DUI or marijuana possession, and are allowed to return to the game they play for a living.  Too often players are starting fights at strip clubs, being found with loads of unregistered weapons, or letting members of their entourage take the fall for murder (Jayson Williams and Ray Lewis).  And all these people are allowed back to their sport.  Even Josh Lueke has been welcomed back to baseball after blatantly lying to police and eventually pleading to a lesser charge after anal raping a women he met at a bar.

Brian Banks deserves this opportunity more than most.  He deserves to accomplish his dream.  He deserves to start for Las Vegas, he deserves to perform well, and he deserves to be given a shot on an NFL roster.  A kid had his life ripped from him at the hands of lies.  I came across this story too late to donate to his kickstarter account where he raised money to film a documentary to tell his story.  I, for one, will be a person that finds his documentary when it comes out (a current ETA of March 2013), but in the meantime, I will be following his career and rooting for him.  You can follow his progress and the progress of his documentary at his website, www.brianbanks.org.

Hard Knocks, The Immaculate Reception, The Autumn Wind, Football Follies, NFL Game of the Week, on field microphones, overhead camera, and countless more.  These are the things introduced to us by NFL Films, a company founded by a father and son combo of Ed and Steve Sabol.  They brought film making concepts to the sports world.  Famous film makers, such as Ron Howard, have been influenced by NFL Films.  The only camera that captured Franco Harris scoop up the ball on the Immaculate Reception was a NFL Films camera.  Yesterday we lost one of the true innovators in sports and film, Steve Sabol passed after an 18 month battle of brain cancer.

John Facenda had the incredible voice, but those incredible poems he recited…written by Steve.  If you are like me, you grew up before the 3-4 hour pregame show on Sundays, but you were so excited to watch football you got up at 7 AM itching to watch it.  You turned on ESPN and there he was, in a little room, sitting in a chair you see in many hotel lobbies, the Lombardi Trophy behind him, and old Packers helmet, a few other pieces of NFL memorabilia, Steve Sabol was talking football.  Whether it be about the first Super Bowl, or the games last week, or the funny way the ball bounces in Football Follies, NFL Films Presents was always there early Sunday morning.  I learned the history of the game, as introduced by Steve Sabol and narrated by John Facenda or Harry Kalas.

I remember the offbeat look at Jerry Glanville, or the giant cockroaches on the field in Dallas, or the slightly out of focus view of Franco Harris catching the ball just before it touches the ground, or Chris Carter saying to a defender, “Pray you can still play when you are my age”.  All of those, were thanks to the incredible vision of Steve Sabol.  I could go on and on, but why don’t I just leave you with his words, best remembered being delivered by the deep, smoky, syrupy voice of John Facenda, but to me, the best poem ever written.

The Autumn wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea
With a rollicking song he sweeps along
Swaggering boisterously.
His face is weatherbeaten
He wears a hooded sash
With a silver hat about his head
And a bristling black mustache
He growls as he storms the country
A villain big and bold
And the trees all shake and quiver and quake
As he robs them of their gold.
The Autumn wind is a Raider
Pillaging just for fun
He’ll knock you ’round and upside down
And laugh when he’s conquered and won.

RIP Steve Sabol