I have made the decision never to draft Yu Darvish, or just simply Yu as he has come to be colloquially referred to, in any of my fantasy leagues again. I don’t care if he goes 32-1 with an ERA of .4, or even better than that. Why? Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this guy without sounding creepy or otherwise? Now, also think, you would be talking about fantasy baseball, so odds are you are having the conversation with a fat, balding dude who has questionably hygiene.

Knowing this, the following sentences could very well come out of your mouth:

I am all about Yu!

I have a MAJOR man crush on Yu.

I’m hanging on to Yu for sure.

I love me some Yu!

Yu makes me all wide eyed and bushy tailed.

I can’t stop watching Yu…

See where I’m going with this? And it gets better. Now, imagine it’s an auction league.

I’m gonna blow my entire wad on Yu.

Yep…