Venezuelan authorities have rescued kidnapped Washington Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos, two days after he was kidnapped at gunpoint from in front of his mother’s home.  So obviously, this is great news. And now that Ramos is safe, I feel 100% comfortable making light of his ordeal… okay, maybe 100% is an exaggeration. Especially since his life was likely in danger. So… ok, let’s be real. We joke around a lot here, but in all seriousness, we are incredibly glad, both as baseball fans and as human beings, not necessarily in that order, that Ramos is now okay.  And since he now is, I’m going to place a bet in Vegas, if the line is available, that the Yankees hired the kidnappers because they’re not thrilled with the thought of Russell Martin as their catcher in 2012.

Big deals have been made about South and Central American baseball players carrying guns, and using them no less.  In recent years, Alfredo Simon, Ugueth Urbina, and several others whose names I would remember several But Lights ago have ended up in legal hot water as a result of fire arms. Personally, I hate guns.  But can you really blame these guys for carrying them?

General Shadiness:  Ryan Madsen has a deal with the Phillies… and then he doesn’t. And then Papelbon signs… Shenanigans?  Yep.  Joke is on Ruben Amaro, though. Madson = good.  Pap = uh, half way decent river dancer?

Fantasy Football Play of the Week:  Brandon Gibson. (Shut up, Shaun, I’m not a homer.) Joe Haden will be on Brandon Lloyd all game, and who the @#$% else is Bradford going to throw the ball to?  Exactly. 7 receptions, 88 yards and a score. You saw it here first.  I think. Unless some other idiot somewhere else said it. And I read Matthew Berry’s ESPN column before I wrote this just to be sure that nobody else… well, at least nobody else worth reading, said it before me.

Last night, my cat tried to poop out two feet of yarn that he ate.  Unsuccessfully.  An emergency trip to the vet and 75 bucks later, he’s fine. At least he was before I did my best Shane Lechler impersonation and punted him 85 yards off my balcony.  Back off, PETA, I’m kidding… at least as far as you know.

Let’s start a contest.  We do have a few readers, Google analytics confirms it.  Best fantasy football team name ever. Submit your ideas.  I’m starting with Raging Fluffy Kittens of Doom. There’s a reason for this, but it’s not worth sharing.  Just ruminate on the awesomeness of the name for a moment, and then consider that they are well on their way to defending their 2010 league title. 

And… good night.  One more Bud Light and I’m passing out… wherever that ends up being.