I was born in the mid-80s, but it was the early ’90s that stamped my sports fandom. Like most kids, I latched onto a team—though these days, after nearly 15 years covering sports, my rooting interest has morphed. Now it’s less about colors on a jersey and more about the people I’ve met, the players I respect, and, of course, my fantasy squads. (Yes, I still sneak in a guy or two from my childhood team. No, I won’t draft their rivals. Some habits die hard.)

That childhood team? The Dallas Cowboys. Blame—or credit—Drew Pearson. When I was five or six, my uncle took me to a sports bar plastered wall-to-wall with Cowboys memorabilia. Pearson, the legend himself, handed me a hat and signed it “Drew Pearson 88.” Next thing I knew, I was watching Dallas lift Lombardi Trophies in ’92, ’93, and ’95. Hook, line, sinker.

Thankfully, adulthood and a press pass pried me out of that fan-cage. I’ve been spared the heartbreak of watching Jerry Jones sabotage his own empire for three decades.

But Thursday? That old Cowboys sting flared again. Jerry traded away Micah Parsons—yes, the perennial DPOY candidate—for two first-rounders and Kenny Clark. On any other team this would be shocking. In Dallas? It was a classic “Only Jerry” moment.

The move echoes the Khalil Mack trade from 2018, when the Raiders shipped their star to Chicago. Difference is, the Raiders at least waited for the offseason. Jerry pulled the trigger a week before a primetime opener against the defending champs and division rival. Brilliant timing.

And the return? Let’s do the math. Mack netted the Raiders two 1s, a 3rd, and a 6th. Those became Josh Jacobs (a hit) and a cast of forgettable names like Damon Arnett and Bryan Edwards. Not exactly franchise-saving. Now Dallas is banking on Green Bay’s late-20s first-rounders. Look at their own recent picks in that range: Tyler Smith, Mazi Smith, Tyler Guyton. Two solid linemen, sure. But Mazi was supposed to fix the run defense already—and now Kenny Clark is here to cover that same hole.

The draft record is decent, but even that success often feels like it happened in spite of Jerry. Flash back to 2014 when the room had to drag him away from Johnny Manziel so they could take Zack Martin. One’s a bust. The other’s a future Hall of Famer. Guess which side Jerry was on.

Even if Dallas nails these two new first-rounders, what are the odds they stick around? Parsons bolted because contract talks went nuclear. Jerry openly admitted negotiating with Parsons himself instead of his agent—a move that might’ve crossed the CBA. Dak Prescott’s extension dragged to the last minute. CeeDee Lamb’s wasn’t any cleaner. This isn’t team-building, it’s soap opera scripting.

The truth is, Jerry doesn’t just want to win. He wants the spotlight. He’s the only owner who doubles as GM, makes weekly media rounds, and hires coaches who never actually get to steer the ship. Despite being 82, there’s zero sign he’ll loosen his grip.

So Cowboys fans, buckle in. That 30-year Super Bowl drought isn’t ending soon. Parsons gone, dysfunction steady, and the Jones Show still center stage. Only Jerry.